The Confidence Coach Report

I have switched sites for my blog!

2011-04-18T03:09:00.001-07:00

Hi All!

I have moved my blog to a new website so for future posts please see; http://theconfidencecoachreport.com/

See you over there!!

Thank You

xx

How to deal with the fear of public speaking

2011-04-08T02:44:00.001-07:00

One of the most common fears I come across when meeting people is public speaking, we all seems to hate to get up and present in front of others! It's our human condition of wanting to look good in front of others and worry that we won't be good enough. I used to dread it myself, the thought of having to stand up in front of a room full of people just filled me with horror. I used to think my mind would go blank and I would pass out, which stemmed from a childhood of randomly fainting when I felt "trapped" in a situation! Over time though the more I forced myself to do it and the more I relaxed and just allowed myself to be ME it got a whole lot easier. Following are my top tips that have learnt over the years through running seminars and training courses:

Prepare what you are going to say. Keep it simple so it’s easy for people to take in and for your to remember.
3 things (if there are 3 things you may just have 1!)– people remember things in 3’s so if you can chunk down what you have to say in 3 key sections/points it will make it easy for you to remember and for them to take it in.
Remember why you’re doing it, take a few minutes before speaking to remind yourself of the purpose of your talk. This will help you focus and should have an effect on your confidence as if you know why you’re up there and you’re clear in what you want to achieve then this should help banish all doubt. Also what is in it for the people you are speaking too, why should they want to listen? Take the focus off yourself and think of them.
Don’t have lots of notes to read from, if you keep it simple and have just some key points you can glance at if need be this will help nerves rather than trying to remember a whole script.
Be able to be flexible, have your key points you need to say and then don’t worry too much if you jumble up the order slightly, if you are trying to remember to say everything in a particular order you will panic if you forget to say something.
Practise it. Have a read through, say it out loud.
Before going into the session take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you know everything you are going to say, you have the knowledge, and you can do this!!
Before speaking stand squarely and just compose yourself, look around the room at everyone and breathe slowly.
Pausing is ok! It is never as long as you feel it is. This will give you a chance to breath (catch your breath), centre yourself and think clearly what you are going to say next. It will also help other people take it in.
Eye contact, look around at each person in the room. If you always stare over peoples heads they will not feel connected to you and if you just stare at one person they will feel uneasy and the other people will feel ignored. Also if you are always look around the room at different people, people are more likely to pay attention as they wont want to be caught out not listening!!
Be yourself!!! When you are trying to put on an act and be something you are not this is going to affect your confidence. Just do it in a way that comes naturally to you and this will help how you feel doing it.
Be careful of body language, if you stand there with your arms cross you will look shy or defensive, hands on hips will look like you are telling them off. Showing palms is a sign of honesty and trust worthiness so some positive arm movements with palms facing out will make it look like you are confident and will keep people interested in what you are saying rather than just standing there motionless.
Remember if you don’t know the answer to something you can always say you will make a note of it and get back to them afterwards.

If public speaking is something you really hate the only way you will build your confidence is to do more of it! When we do things that scare us and make it out the other end ok (what ever the outcome) our confidence slowly grows. As the book says “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway!!”. Remember there is no such thing as failure.....just lessons to be learned!

Make Time for The People You Love

2011-04-04T03:31:00.000-07:00

A year ago today my good friend Clint died suddenly, which was a huge shock to all his friends and family. One year on and we are all getting on with our lives as usual but he is not forgotten, we all miss him terribly.

Yesterday I was reading an article in Psychologies magazine about a lady, Sally Brampton, whose friend had terminal cancer. Sally was dreading the moment she would be gone from her life but her friend told her not to mourn her for the future but to enjoy her now. To make the most of every minute she is still here, rather than acting like she is already gone.

Our lives are so busy, we get caught up in all our dramas, our worries about what may or may not happen in the future so much so that we often forget about what we have right now.

Love and connection is a vital need that all human's have. What good is success, money and so on if there is no love? As Morrie say's in the great book Tuesday's with Morrie by Mitch Albom, "You can't take it (money/possessions) when you go!". Even when you are upset, stressed or worried connecting with the people you love and who love you will give you a lift. So why do we so often seem to forget this when we get caught up in our "stuff" or waste time on people who don't have that mutual level of love and respect for us.

It's so easy to put off calling someone and it's so easy to take people for granted. Even when we do spend time with someone we love, if we are not careful our minds can go off thinking about other things, not really being present with the person we are with. It's just a fault of our human minds! Once you are aware you are drifting off though it is possible to train your mind into active listening with the person you are speaking too.

Life is unexpected, you never know what is around the corner. Value the people you have in your life, look after them and make sure when you do get to speak or spend time with them you are fully in the moment and enjoying every second of them.

Love is what makes the world go round after all!

xxx

Why I Want to BAN the Word Should!!

2011-04-01T04:18:00.000-07:00

Today I am going to write about the word "should"! In fact it really should be banned!

Before I begin, have a think about the things you are telling yourself you "should" at the moment.

Write them down.

How many of them really inspire you, get you fired up with passion and make you feel fantastic about yourself?

I am guessing maybe......hmmm.....none of them?

Anytime you use the word "should" you are simply comparing yourself to other people and basing what you feel you should do on their values. The thing is when you are living by someone else values it is not always going to motivate you 100% because they are not your own. We all have completely different sets of values, which are the things and feelings that are most important to us in our life. When we live by someone else's values we can only be as good as them, so we are actually limiting ourselves from being who we truly are.

If you set goals around what other people are doing you, unless it is also something you really want yourself, you just won't have the drive to want to make it happen. If you are working towards something that doesn't really inspire you it is unlikely it will happen. The result of not achieving your goals or giving up early will just make you feel bad about yourself as our human minds don't always think logically, rather than accepting perhaps they were not really the goals you wanted to begin with.

I'll give you an example of where I could have fallen down the "should" trap and made myself feel bad. Many of my friends have bought their own house and my father was an estate agent so it would have been very natural for me to set a goal around buying a property. The thing is I have never had a urge to own my own home, it's only recently I am starting to like the idea of buying somewhere as an investment. I could have set myself a goal when I was younger to save for a deposit, but I would never have saved the money and then I would have beat myself up and made myself feel like I wasn't as good as the people around me. I could have also felt guilt towards not doing what I perceived my parents feel I "should". Luckily that never happened, I have saved for travelling instead, have loved every minute of exploring new places around the world and I have spent money on my business; the things that are important to me and maybe not so much for my friends. It could have been so different though.

We are all individual, we all have our own set of values of what is important to us and there is no wrong or right way of living your life. It's just needs to be what is important to you and not because you feel you should. Don't waste your energy in setting yourself up for a fall, for something you didn't really want in the first place anyway! Instead think about what fills you will inspiration and excitement and go for that instead!

Now, look at your list of should's.............is there anything on there that, hand on heart, you really really want and it's nothing to do what other people think of you? If yes, fantastic!! If not....scrap that list of should's and pick something else to work towards that is in alignment with who you really are.

Have a great weekend!

xx

My Website

A few things that inspired me last week....

2011-03-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

How amazing was last week, it was so sunny!! I have been loving it, thank goodness the winter is over and Spring is here YAY!!!! One thing I love about the UK is that everyone really appreciates the sunshine, it just changes the mood so dramatically and we all want to make the most of it.

Lots has been inspiring me recently, in fact the more inspiration I find the more I seem notice! It's a bit like gratitude, the more grateful you are for things in your life the more you notice to be thankful for.

So I thought I would share a few of my top inspirations from this week:

1. The power of positive thought. On Tuesday I went to visit a good friend of mine who has been through a hell of a year with breast cancer, she has through the treatment now and looking into options of what to do next to prevent it from coming back. She has been so positive through the whole experience and what has been amazing is whilst going through her chemo she met someone and they fell in love! What a perfect thing to happen when you are battling cancer. There has been lots written about cancer and how you can heal yourself through the power of positive thought (plus all the treatment of course) and really think she is a good example of this. Even if you are fully healthy thinking positively will help you deal with anything that comes up in your life, you have a choice of how you think and feel, so be kind to yourself and choose to make it supportive.

2. Life can change in an instant. This week various unexpected things have happened out of the blue that have served as reminders that anything can happen at any time to change the course of things. For example at the start of this week I was wondering if I'd find anyone to rent out my room, then 2 friends got in touch to ask about it. Then I was fidgeting at home not liking to be inside when it's so sunny out to I went for a walk to check out some shops (I am a personal shopper so it WAS work!), whilst walking through Balham I bumped into someone I met last year doing some styling work in Westfield Shopping Centre, when I gave her my business card she could not believe that my business is the same concept as her TV show she is working on! So there could be some future work we could do together, who knows. If I had stayed in doors I would never have met her, you really do never know what is around the corner.

3. Money money money. I have been doing a seminar at Landmark Education around money, on which we have been asked to start writing a business plan for the game we want to play around money. The key to coming up with the plan is to not make it around money. Instead we are to choose something that inspires us, we are passionate about and that makes a difference. When you are really inspired by something you want to achieve then money just becomes a resource to make it happen. So often we think of business or work as a way to make money, but what is far more fun is to love what you do and money just comes as a result of that. When you are fixated with making money it's easy to loose connection with creativity and passion.

4. Unimaginable Adventures. A friend I have met through Landmark is taking on such an exciting and inspiring project to make a film. The idea started with her friend and business partner who was going into meltdown just before New Years Eve because she is 59 and still single, the thought of being 60 and never meeting her soulmate sent her into total resignation. So an adventure was born, the two of them plus another single friend have set up a blog to document their year journey to finding the men of their dreams. They are setting each other challenges through out the year to face their fears and break down any barriers that are getting in their way. Their blog is so open and so inspirational, you can check it out here; unimaginable adventures. I really believe this is going to make a brilliantly funny and touching film. They are looking for help to make this happen so if you know any one in the film industry please let me know!

5. A beautiful quote: "May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and everyone of us."

Have a great week and of course, enjoy the sunshine :-)

xx

Create Yourself

There is Time and There is Space

2011-03-17T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have found myself this week rushing around from one thing to the next. Even when just sat working on my computer my mind has had this sense of urgency, wanting to complete what I am doing so I can move on to the next and even occasionally jumping around between tasks. I know this is coming from having so many ideas of new projects and things to do that I just want to get them all done now!! (I can be the impatient sort!) I've been getting up super early to get started and then falling into bed later exhausted. My head has felt cluttered and on overdrive, which creates the experience of "no space to think or simply just be".

Quite simply this has exhausted me!! When you are tired you are more likely to think irrationally and emotionally. So last night I decided to cancel my networking engagement and get an early night. Boy did I feel better for it this morning. Sometimes we do just need to allow ourselves to stop.

I have decided this morning that from now on when I get in this "busy" zone I am going to try on:

"I have enough time"

"I am on time"

"I have space"

Saying that to myself through out the day I am already feeling calmer and more present in life.

Be kind to yourself

My top 7 tips for doing things that scare you!

2011-03-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

When people ask me what my top strategy is for building self confidence I have to say it is doing things that scare you. In my opinion self confidence is knowing what ever happens you can deal with the outcome, good or bad. You have the firm belief deep within that you will be OK and be able to manage. This knowledge and belief only occurs through experience and the power positive thinking, you can not magic yourself into feeling self confident if you are used to doubting yourself.

Obviously doing things that scare you is a big deal if you don't have faith in yourself that you will be able to cope which ever way it turns out. Even when you do things still get scary, they are just often bigger challenges and you may find you don't procrastinate so long over them. So to get you started I have compiled my top 7 tips of doing things that scare you! These are strategies that I have tried and tested as I am a firm believer of always stretching myself so that I always feel like I am pushing my boundaries and therefore expanding.

1) Start off small and work your way up; unless you are feeling really brave it's best to start of by doing something small that scares you, something that just stretches you a little bit so that you have the satisfaction of achieving it. It may be something like making a comment in a work meeting (if you normally struggle with this) or smiling at someone on the tube/bus. Pick some thing you wouldn't normally do and that produces the fear sensation. Once you have done a couple of small scary things and you are starting to feel a bit braver then pick something that really does challenge you.

2) Tell people you are going to do it; as discussed in last weeks entry the more you tell people what you are going to do the more you will feel "under pressure" to do it. Use this pressure as a good thing, it means you can't back out!

3) Think about what you want to get out of it; rather than focusing on what you actually have to do, think about why you are doing it and get excited by what it will mean to you to have broken through these barriers. Be careful of not getting attached to the outcome of the task being a certain way though, just focus on what it will mean to you to have just gone for it what ever the outcome. It's not that actual task that matters it's the fact you have done it!

4) Build your energy up; before you do what ever it is jump around, shake your body, create some energy pumping through your veins. A good way of really distracting yourself from being scared is to do something silly that makes you laugh.....like skipping!

5) Repeat a positive affirmation to yourself; something like "what ever happens I will be ok", "I can do this", "If they can do it, I can do it" and so on.

6) Have a prize at the end; plan to reward yourself once you have done it, make it something really fun that you really want....that way you will just want to get it over and done with to enjoy it!

7) Breathe; someone once told me that fear is just excitement with out breathing, I think that is so true!! Get excited that you are about to break through a barrier and allow yourself just to centre yourself before you do it by taking some long slow deep breaths.

Finally .....just do it! The more you put something off the bigger it grows in your head. As you get used to just pushing through the fear and doing things the easier it becomes.

To find out more about building your self confidence I am offering you all a free trial of my Create Confidence e-course

Enjoy!

xx

The Power of Language!

2011-03-05T04:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Saturday Everyone!

I've had fun week making new plans for my business. I've created powerful a new seminar on personal branding which I am going to pitch to recruitment agencies and career advisor's for the people on their books. How you look, what you do, how you speak, how you carry yourself all contributes to people's first impressions of you and in the case of looking for a new job (same applies to dating and networking) you really want to show the interviewers how brilliant you really are! Personal branding isn't just about your clothes, it is every move, action, thought and word you speak. Examples of celebrities with strong brands are Kate Moss, Richard Branson, Katie Price, Kylie and Simon Cowell. When you think of them it's not just what they wear that comes to mind, you know stuff about them from everything they do, how they look and what they say.

This week the power of the spoken word has really been in the forefront of my mind. Nothing exists in our reality until we speak it. Up until then it is just in our heads and it hasn't really become real. For example the more I tell people I am going to India for 6 months and the more I tell people I am running a personal branding seminar the more likely these things will actually happen. Once you start to tell people about what you want to achieve or how you want to be in your life they start listening (holding you to account)to you for that.

Another aspect of this is what you say to people around the areas where you feel something is missing. The more to focus on the lack of it and the more you speak to others about the scarcity of it you will just get more of that. It becomes your reality. For example, if you are worried about money and every time you see your friends/ family you talk about how little you have they will start to listen to you like you haven't got any, which then reinforces your belief about it. They then might start treating you like you haven't got any money so for example might stop inviting you our assuming you wouldn't be able to afford it. Thing is when you are caught in this cycle it's hard to get out of it as it knocks your self worth and self esteem.

A more powerful way of being around it is to talk into the future about what you want, instead of saying "I am skint" try talking about your plans for the future to make money or even what you are going to do once you have got the money. See what shift that causes.

Same applies to relationships, hating your job, lack of clients, wanting to loose weight and so on......

We are often our own worst enemy and seem to want to knock our own self confidence down as much as we can. Instead create a powerful affirmation for yourself around how you are going to be to get what ever you want, for example

"I am a courageous money magnet"
"I am healthy and full of energy"
"I am a powerful stand for living a life I love"
"I am ready for the man/woman that is right for me"
"I am full of love and fully self expressed"

Just pick something that really resonates with you, put it on post it notes around your room and share it (and your goals) with people close to you.

Life is totally what to make it, you have a choice to feel good about yourself or bad.....I know which I would rather pick!

xx

Being with Uncertainty

2011-02-24T05:45:00.000-08:00

Day's are flying by at the moment, probably because I am so busy working out what to do next, putting plans in places, dreaming up new ideas and starting to set the wheels in motion. I feel like I have surges of daily adrenaline which are keeping me energised and slightly all over the place! It's all very exciting though!

What this has bought to my attention is how our minds can get so caught up in the "what if's". It's so easy for us to think about what has happened in our past and then project into the future, what if "X" happens again? Or start to doubt ourselves, wondering if our ideas or indeed we are even good enough for what we really want.

The thing is our past is our past, our future has not happened yet and the only place we have the power to control and live in is this moment right now! I learnt a valuable question from reading Eckhart Tolle's book the Power of Now, any time your mind is going ten to the dozen with the "what if's" ask yourself "Is there anything wrong right now?" There hardly ever is. A few more tips on how to bring your self into the moment are:

Just do one thing at a time and really focus on it, for example eating; it's so easy to munch away whilst watching TV, down the road, reading a magazine, checking your emails and so on. Just try sitting down quietly and really think about what you are eating, how it tastes, chewing each bit properly and how it makes you feel.
Sit outside or by a window and just look out, listen to all the sounds around you and any time your mind starts to wander off you consciously bring your self back to the now.
When you experience a moment of happiness, soak it in, notice how you feel about it, enjoy it rather than feeling the need to update your status on Twitter, Facebook and so on. It's so easy these days to not be present when social media has led us to constantly want to be updating people!

People deal with uncertainty in different ways and often our natural reaction is to try to control the situation as much as possible. Sometimes this is not always possible though, especially when there are external factors that we can not influence. All you can really do it look after yourself, think about what you can do to get your own power back and then trust that everything really is exactly as it's meant to be. Our lives our constantly changing and even when things don't look that good there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, eventually! I believe things do happen for a reason and there is always something to learn.

Self confidence is really knowing in your heart that what ever the situation you will be able to deal with what ever happens. Aside from repeating affirmations one key way to build your self confidence is to take a few risks, put yourself in situations that scare you a bit and slowly as you get through them your confidence will begin to rise.

So actually uncertainty can be a good thing if we allow it to be.....it forces us to focus on being present, makes us aware of being in the flow of life, we know once we are out the other side our self confidence will have moved up a notch, plus we will have learnt something! So if you are facing any uncertainty right now, try on embracing it, just being with it and focusing in the now rather than worrying about the what if's!

xx

The power of a smile :-)

2011-02-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

The Create a Life You Love challenge is fully under way! I am loving watching how it is developing, it is amazing how a little idea can evolve and grow in most unexpected ways. It's only 4 days in but following are a few of the things that have touched and inspired me so far:

Anna has been going around giving people hugs, people she doesn't know very well but senses they could do with one!
Mel is thinking about what she really loves in life, this is something she has never consciously done before so how amazing will it be when she is clear on what she needs to do to have a life she loves?
Gabby holding her niece's little baby boy and remembering how important it is to be in the moment.
Tiffany's beautiful cat photos, bless them!!
G Self allowing herself the luxury of a full lunch hour to run in the sunshine, thus freeing her evening up. it's a common habit just to work through our lunches but it has such an impact when you allow yourself a break.

I ran the More to Life networking group on Tuesday night and whilst we were discussing the challenge one of the ladies there recommended I check out Operation Beautiful as they are on a mission to help everyone accept themselves and feel good. They get people to leave post it notes telling people they are beautiful. How lovely is that? I felt inspired by this so my part of the Create challenge today was to leave a note on my flatmates mirror. I can't wait to for her to find it :-)

One thing I am loving about the challenge is that people are not just thinking about what they love to do but also what makes other people smile. A smile really does lift your spirits and alter how you feel about your day, especially when someone else smiles at you. It's contagious!

So my bonus challenge to you this week is to smile at a stranger every day and see what happens! It's free and you never know it could be a whole lot of fun! (especially if you are single!!)

Create a Life You Love!

2011-02-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

Our Create A Life You Love Challenge starts tomorrow, yay! If you have not read about it yet it's to raise money for a charity called Living Beyond Diagnosis which has been set up by Anna Wallace. She is putting on an inspirational event in November for people affected by breast cancer and needs to raise 250K to ensure the attendees only have to pay the bare minimum, donations for the challenge will go to this. The idea is that everyone on the challenge will do something they love every day until 14th April and then we will have a big party to celebrate, you can read about our journey here; createalifeyouloveeveryday.

The challenge seems like perfect timing for me as I am experiencing a period of change in my life and right now I am looking at what new things I might put in place to live my dream life. My dream life by the way is living by a beach, with someone I love and making an income from work I love. I am seriously considering leaving London, after being here for 12 years, and freeing up time to really focus on writing blogs, books and e courses. I will still carry on my image work but I can just travel to London for this, and do it locally where ever I am. This would be a huge change for me and it would be very hard to leave my London life, lovely flat, who I live in with one of my best friends and our beautiful cat. I feel a mixture of fear when I think about it but also a feeling of pure excitement about something new!

Anyway who knows what will happen and what I will decide (I may come up with a totally new idea next week!) but just doing the challenge will get me thinking creatively about all the things I love to do. I have already booked my mum in for an afternoon of cake baking next weekend, like I did when I was little :-)

If you are out of work at the moment and currently wondering what to do next I really suggest taking some time to think about all the things you are really good at and what you are really passionate about. Often we have interests that we would never imagine we could make a living from but instead of cancelling out that idea how about asking yourself "how could I make money from this?". You never know what might come up!! 8 years ago I spent a year exploring what I could do for a business, I wanted it to be fun and not like work. I knew I loved clothes and shopping but I didn't really like the idea of working in the fashion industry (too bitchy). Then one day I won an image consultation and that's when the light bulb flashed, 6 months later I had saved up and was training to be an image consultant. I now get paid to talk about clothes, help people feel good about themselves and go shopping - I love it and it definitely does not feel like work!

Earning money from doing something you love is so rewarding and you'll never have that Monday morning feeling again! Also you have an abundance of energy for it and you'll be great at it because it's your passion. The times when we don't do so well in a job are often when we are actually unhappy in it and feeling stuck or to scared to leave.

So for those reading this who are out of work or thinking about a career change ask yourself:

What are my top 3 values in life?
What would get me to leap out of bed in the middle of the night?
What do I love, what am I really interested in?
What am I good at?
How could I earn money from all of the above?

Work takes up such a large percentage of our lives it makes such a huge impact when you are happy in what you do. When you stay in a job (or relationship!) that is not right for you it can a huge impact on your self confidence and self worth. When you start to take steps to make changes and go for something you really want you start to feel better and better about yourself.

I hope to start reading about you all doing things you love for the challenge, if you haven't signed up you can do it now here!

Life is constantly evolving...

2011-02-04T06:33:00.000-08:00

I am back after an amazing trip to Kerala and Gokarna (in the photo), they are such beautiful parts of the country. I really do have a taste of India now and plan to go back next year for a longer trip to explore further.

Some highlights of the past 5 weeks were:
1) Hearing the lions roar whilst meditating at sunrise in the Ashram
2) Morning Yoga at Bohemian Masala (a boutique resort) in Varkala, the teacher there is fantastic.
3) 5.30am walk from the ashram up to a temple on the top of a very rocky steep hill to watch the sunrise, stunning.
4) Watching dolphins out to sea whilst the sun was setting.
5) Making some fantastic friends in the ashram and hitting the beach with them afterwards
6) Kudle and Om beach at Gokarna, a little pocket of beautiful beaches which have not yet been ruined by tourism....my idea of paradise!
7) Watching the palms whizz by on the long train journeys and drinking plenty of cup of sweet Chai.
8) The lazy picturesque backwaters, was hard to keep eyes open they were so relaxing!
9) Ayurvedic hot oil on the head massages.....calms any emotions/stress, so relaxing was just floating around in a daze afterwards!
10) The Indian people being so friendly, welcoming and helpful

I could go on and on but that was just a few! Over the next few entries I will be sharing things I learnt in the ashram and books I read whilst away. Something they discussed in the Ashram and also in a book on Buddhism that I read is that life is never permanent, it is constantly evolving and nothing ever stays the same. One of the keys to living a happy life is to allow the flow, just go with it. Any time you resist it and try to hold on you just make yourself feel bad.

This has been perfectly demonstrated to me this week, the day after I got back I learnt that my part time training/coaching role in a company I have been with for 10 years has been made redundant. They are making cost cuts and as I am a contractor I am one of the 65 people that have to leave. I am feeling so excited about this new change, it's bringing in fresh new energy for the year ahead and I can't wait to find new coaching and image clients for Create Yourself.

Are there any changes you may be resisting at the moment? What if you were to embrace them and allow the flow of life. I really believe everything happens for a reason and even if it doesn't feel that good right now, there will be something positive ahead.

Have a great weekend

xx

Ashram Life!

2011-01-17T20:04:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR from INDIA!!!

Sorry it's a little belated, I was in an ashram from NYE up until last week. Wow what an amazing experience that was!! We had to all get up at 5.30 to be in Satsang (meditation, chanting and talk) for 6. Whilst all meditating in silence you could hear the lions roar from the nearby lion park!! At 8am we had yoga asana class, then 10am was our first meal of the day "breakfast" of samba, rice and chutney. At 1.30 there was herbal tea and then a lecture at 2 on the 5 points of yoga (breath, relaxation, proper diet, proper exercise, positive thinking and mediation). 3.30pm was the second 2 hour yoga asana class and then 6pm was our dinner. The day ended off with more chanting and meditation at 8pm satsang.

The first day I wanted to run the hell away from all this routine, bland food (which was eaten on the floor with our right hands) and chanting!! However by day 2 I was loving it! Following are a few of the highlights and things I learnt from the experience:

1) A hundred + people chanting in a room creates the most amazing uplifting energy leaving you feeling totally alive and connected with everyone

2) Eating less food is ok, I am not going to pass out (!) and I actually feel more energized and lighter for it.

3) Sugar, caffeine, onions and garlic make my mind go faster so it's harder to meditate and keep a calm perspective. Plus they really bloat me out!

4) It's good to have an ideal (knowledge of who you are as self which I have discuss before), make it bigger than you so you and direct all your actions towards it. Mine is everyone living a life they love.

5) Yoga is not just about the postures/ asana's, it's a way of life and covers the above mentioned 5 points.

6) Meditating every day really brings a sense of inner peace and contentment. Sit cross legged, slow down your breathing focus on the point between your eyes or your heart and repeat a mantra, mine changes every now and then but I find thank you is really working for me right now as whilst I say it all the things I am grateful for come into mind.

7) I do believe in God, I believe he is all around us and we are part of him. God is unconditional love.

8) We have our soul and our ego, our soul is who we really are, our self. Our ego is our mind, all our past experiences beliefs etc Anytime we say I. My, Me it is our ego speaking. We are not our ego.

9) Regular yoga relaxes you but also gives you energy.

10) Eating less, yoga asana and mediating all make me need to sleep less, I was getting 5 hours approx at the ashram

11) Anytime someone comes to you with a problem focus on talking about the desired solution, giving energy to the problem will attract more of it according to the law of attraction.

12)A good relationship is where you are both totally aligned with your self/soul, never try to be something you are not to please the other person, it wont be good for them or your relationship.

Phew...and those are just a few things I got!

I was telling one of the girls I met about my blog and that I like to set you all little challenges, things to think about and she shared a great one that she does sometimes. She picks one new thing a week and does it everything. For example one week she wore red lipstick everyday and another time she gave money away every day for a week. So that is your challenge to have fun with until my next blog!

Lots of love

xxx

Happy Christmas!!!!

2010-12-17T02:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas Everyone!!

This is going to be my last blog for the year as I am off home next week to see my parents on the South Coast and then jet off to India on 27th! I do plan to keep you updated when I am over there too, just maybe not as often!

What a crazy year I have had, lots of totally amazing stuff and then to the other extreme very sad. My year started off with my adventures in Thailand and Cambodia where I spent some fantastic time with my uncle and his wife. It was really good to get to know them away from usual family do's we see each other at! They are my inspiration to spend my whole life exploring the world.

I came back from that trip feeling relaxed and revitalised, then the sudden death of our beautiful friend Clint shocked us all. It was a tragedy and totally heartbreaking, but out of it I felt amazing love and connection with all his friends and family whilst we all supported each other. The funeral was absolutely beautiful and perfect, it will be something that will touch me for ever. I miss Clint more and more as time goes on but I accept he is gone and am very grateful to have such a great connection with his friends and family.

It took me a few months after Clints death to get back on track, I took time out to heal and spend time with those close to him. As got to August I started to feel like my energy was coming back and felt a bit stuck. So I called up Landmark Education centre, where I did a few personal development courses about 4 years ago to see what they had on. As it happened they had a Living Life Powerfully seminar starting in September so I signed up for it straight away, and honestly since then the most amazing things have happened over the past 4 months!! I am earning more money than ever, I have managed to get 5 weeks holiday paid for (India), I have met the most gorgeous man and am totally excited and in love with my life. I am also planning the Create a Life You Love challenge to raise money for the cancer charity "Living Beyond Diagnosis". It just goes to show how you can turn things around with intention, focus and action. The main thing I got out of the Living life Powerfully seminar is who I am at the level of self, which is everybody living a life they love, including myself! As long as I act from that space I am being true to myself and anytime I am not that is when I loose my power.

So what's next, well India, The Create a Life You Love Challenge and experiencing my amazing new relationship develop. I can't wait!

It's a great time of the year to take stock of what challenges and achievements you have had this year and to really acknowledge yourself. We so rarely take time to acknowledge all the great things we do be it acts of kindess, being brave, making a stand, achievements, dealing with challenges and so on. So my suggestion to you is to take some time out before the new year to reflect on this and have think about what you would like to achieve next.

I'll post more information on the Create a Life You Love challenge early next year......it's going to be a lot of FUN!

Happy Christmas and New Year!

xxx

2 Weeks To Go!!

2010-12-13T00:25:00.000-08:00

It's 2 weeks today I fly to India, yay! I still can't quite believe I am going, the past few weeks have all been a bit of a whirlwind with work and seeing Troy (the guy I have met) so I haven't really had much time to think about it.

Mikey and I sat down on Friday to design the new website for the Create a Life You Love challenge, I just want a basic page that is very clear about what it's all about and how to sign up. Once this is up we will get working on PR to promote it. I can't wait, it's going to be really fun.

This week's photo is of Selfridges Christmas window, it is absolutely crazy in there at the moment! Plus to add to all the Christmas shoppers some of the sales have started too.....so get in there if you want to find a bargain!

Christmas is a perfect opportunity to let people in your life know how much they mean to you. A couple of years ago I wrote letters to friends and family explaining what an impact they had been in my life and how I felt about them. It wasn't something I had ever done before or to be quite honest felt that comfortable doing as I used to tend to keep feelings to myself but the result was amazing. It really touched them and it led to some really open and honest conversations. So often we keep our feelings to ourselves but when you express them it really opens up a whole new space for communication and feeling connected to someone.

So my challenge for you this week, should you choose to take it on, is to have a think about 3 people in your life who you love and value, and let them know.

xxx

Best places for party dresses!

2010-12-02T07:51:00.000-08:00

Have had the most amazing, and contrasting, 2 weekends away. The first was in Brighton where the sun shone all the time and then second was also by the coast but in Bridport where it snowed!!! (see this weeks picture) Slight crisis has also happened in that my laptop has died on me, so hence the lack of blog posts. It’s been a real test of not getting stopped when things go wrong as I could so easily just give up on things I wanted to get done before Christmas but instead I am finding ways of using computers to do my work before then.

Not long to India now, 26 days in fact so busy getting prepared with Visas, books to read and jabs! Just can’t wait to take off on my own little adventure!

I have been doing a lot of personal shopping for people recently so have been seeing all the party dresses around, following are my top 6 places worth checking out for something to stand out in!

1) Top Shop - The Oxford St and Brompton Road branches have limited edition sequin dresses which are gorgeous!
2) Whistles have some really funky dresses which are great if you don’t have curves as a lot of them have side pockets and fabric that puffs out at the hips.
3) French Connection have some beautiful sequin dresses, there is a lovely one with a flowers in pale pastel colours.
4) Ted Baker have some fun, dramatic style numbers.
5) Reiss is always a winner for fitted dresses that show off your curves.
6) Your best one stop shop though is Selfridges as they have most of the above brands and a whole lot more! Plus their new shoe department is AMAZING!! (Although prepare to wait a bit as the staff are so slllooooooowwwwwww)

To get fully glittered up the MAC just behind Carnaby St sells the best loose 3D glitter that can be applied as thickly as your desire! It can also be mixed in with body lotion to create a sparkly sheen.

Enjoy all those parties!!

xx

Don't wait for life to happen to you!

2010-11-18T01:12:00.000-08:00

I am getting extremely excited now.....I have so many things to look forward to at the moment! I am going away for the 3 weekends (2 of them with a lovely new man!), then a masquerade ball (have found the most beautiful mask!), Christmas, working on our Create a Life You Love Challenge and of course my 5 week trip to India! I am surprised I am actually getting any sleep, I am a little bit like a kid at Christmas time :-)

What is the most amazing thing is that just a few months ago none of this was happening, I have created it all (apart from the mask party!). After working very hard last year I chose to have a more relaxed year in 2010, I didn't push our business so much, I just put my faith in the universe that it would all work out OK. Incredibly I got more work coming in this year than the last!! However after allowing myself to switch off for a bit it came to August and I felt restless, I felt like I wasn't creating anything, I wasn't working towards anything....I had basically got my energy back. So I decided to sign up for a personal development course to really propel me back into the in action/ inspired state I like to be in. As soon as I made this decision and booked the course I started getting to work on all the areas of my life I wanted to shift. Everything that is happening to me now is as a result of this.

So often I chat to people who are waiting for their circumstances to change, they maybe blaming their boss, their partner, their families etc for where they are right now and holding them responsible for their own situation. Blaming others works for us because it makes someone else wrong and us right. However it is giving our power away. A phrase I love is "if it's to be it's up to me!".

In any situation you are unhappy in have a look at it and ask yourself "what could I do to make this better?" What could I do to take control?"

A good exercise is to write down all the areas of your life and ask yourself for each are you feeling completely fulfilled and happy in that area? If not what needs to change?

Then pick the highest priority area for you and get to work on it. Just doing one action step and get you moving and building momentum.

Once you start making positive changes, things will start to shift and may do in other areas perhaps that you didn't expect.

Don't wait for life to happen to you, go out and grab it by the horns!!! Rrraaaahhhh!

xxx

Find something you love.....and do that!

2010-11-12T01:57:00.001-08:00

I have had such an exciting week! I was sat on my bed on Sunday wondering what I could take on that I would really enjoy and that would be a challenge. I love variety and get a little bored when I do the same things week in week out so like to spice things up a bit!

I remembered back to a few years ago when I put on a club night to raise money for my friend Clints HIV charity, it was so much fun!! Hard work and quite stressful towards the end but on the night looking round to a dancefloor full of people, my favourite DJ playing, and raising loads of money for such a great cause....it felt amazing. The energy I got from taking more on that I usually have just drove me and I achieved so much over those few months of oganising it.

So it was then I decided Create Yourself would do a fundraiser in the New Year. I thought about what is important to me and our business and that is people living lives they love, so the fundraiser will all be about exactly that. People creating a life they love. Plus raising money to help other people do the same!

I have started another blog to document the journey of this so to find out more please see Create a Life You Love

Immediately I have been in action, setting the blog up, buying the domain name for the promotion site, planning the whole project month by month, speaking to people about donating prizes and brainstorming ideas. The energy I have had this week has been out of control!!! It just goes to show that when you are doing something that inspires and excites you you have all the energy in the world for it!

So are you feeling a bit stuck in a rut? What could you take on that is in alignment with what you really love and what is important to you?

What are the first steps you could take to put it into reality so you really have to make it happen! It could be as simple as just sharing it with everyone you know!

Have FUN!!!

xxx

Peace with out control

2010-11-07T06:09:00.000-08:00

I've just come back from a session in a Salt Cave! I went along to give it a go as I am on the search of a new treatment for my allergies and asthma, which is what it says it is fantastic for. The centre is in Earlsfield, you go along and sit in a room full of salt (even on the floor!) along with about 8-10 other people. I found it very relaxing and I have that sensation now of swimming underwater in the sea for day, air waves are all tingly! I can imagine if you were to do a series of daily sessions, as they suggest, you'd feel very clear.

I've put up a photo of our little cat Fluff today as she has had a tough few days with all the fireworks bless her! She is lying by me right now though purring away, relieved the sky has stopped exploding.

Over the past few weeks I have been trying a new mantra that I thought I would share with you as it's left me feeling very content. "Peace with out control". It's so easy and natural in life to want to control situations or other people, it's something I can slip into easily especially in relationships. The thing is the only person you can control is yourself. So I have been focusing on being peaceful in every situation and letting go the need for any kind of control. What will be will be. It's helped me to be in the present moment far more as when you are trying to control something it is generally through fear of what may or may not happen. Sometimes it can feel hard to trust that what ever does happen is exactly as it's meant to be and where you are right now is perfect, but I believe that this is the truth.

Are there any areas in your life that you are trying to control, that are just making you feel frustrated?

How would it be if you were peaceful in how you were being with the situation/ person?

What would you be doing differently?

Have a great week.

You are not your circumstances!

2010-10-29T02:21:00.000-07:00

How often do you let your circumstances take control how you feel or how you are being in your life?

How often do you make up stories and justify why you are not really living a life you love?

It's so easy to come up with excuses and reasons why we can't do things, why we can't feel how we want to feel.

It's also so common for us to say that when X happens then I will be X (happy, fulfilled, a success and so on).

When we do this we are giving our inner power away.

We let our circumstances control us, but are our circumstances really who we are?? So often we blame them for how we are being. However, in reality they are just what they are, they do not have to affect how we are being in the world.

What you want in the future is right now, not someday one but right now. We only exist in this very moment and as soon as we are not in the present we are letting our past affect our future.

You may find that just by being who you really are and how you would love to feel you attract what you want in your life anyway. For example when a person is looking for a relationship, it could be easy to think "when I find someone then i will be happy and my life will be complete", how do you think that person would be when looking for someone? Slightly desperate, needy, over keen perhaps? How about if that person instead focused on being happy right now, being content and loving their life right how. Wouldn't that be more attractive?

What are you waiting to feel in your life? Try on being that right now.

Have fun!

xx

Who are you?

2010-10-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

Another busy couple of weeks have flown by, I can't believe I haven't written this since 28th Sept! I had a very successful shopping trip to buy 9 staff of ten Group outfits to wear to the luxury Vertu phone launch on Tuesday. The brief was stylish, grey with an indivdual twist. It was great fun and everyone looked amazing.

Last weekend I went to stay with one of my best friends Vicky, who I have known since I was about 6 or 7. It was lovely to spend a few days catching up with her and getting to know her two babies! The picture on the left is a photo taken from the plane, flying over where my parents live! That is the Isle of Wight in the foreground.

What an inspiring week is has been with the rescue of the Chilean miners. I am sure when they all went to work that day they no idea their lives were about to change for ever. It serves as a reminder that you just never know what is around the corner and that is why it is so important to be living your life to the full and living a life you love.

Something that I have been thinking a lot about over the past week or so is who I am as self. Self is who we really are at the very core of our being, as opposed to our identity which is full of all our past experiences, beliefs, values, basically all the thoughts and behaviours we have in our minds. Our identity often does not relate to ourself, it's that annoying voice in our minds that puts ourselves down, feels the fears and talks ourselves out of what we really want! It's powerful to establish who you are as self as from there you can direct your actions and way of being in the world. By doing this you will be being who you really are rather than this identity which can so often rule you and not necessarily in the right direction.

Who I am as self is people living a life they love, and from that where I am true to myself is if I am living a life I love. How can I expect and inspire others to do the same if I am not? I need to make sure everything I am doing is from a space of love, which may sound easy but I can guarantee there will be times that my identity will get in the way. Often we stop ourselves from doing something we love for fears such as failure and rejection. This is where the challenge lies, not to listen to your identity but to remain true to yourself.

In working out who you are as self it helps to ask yourself "What is important to you?" What matters to you?" "what is at the real core of your being that really drives you?"

Once you have estalished who you are as self then the next step is to think about how is that going to look for you in your life? How will be being to yourself and others?

I am going to leave you on that slightly deep note for now!

Happy Contemplating!

xxx

Choose your words carefully!

2010-09-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

My two friends and I ran the New Forest Half Marathon on Sunday! It was much harder than last year after not doing so much training but it was still amazing running through such a beautiful place and feels like such an achievement. After a couple of weeks of feeling quite tired and run down I am now left feeling full of energy and sleeping better, which is a reminder of how good exercise is for me

Signing up to a run like this is a good example of how our words create our reality. A simple conversation between friends over a glass of wine back in May lead to weeks of training, raising sponsorship and finally all running 13 miles on Sunday!

The statement "our words create our reality" can be a powerful one if you take time to think about it. A useful exercise to try is to think about a fantastic day you have had in the past, write down what you were saying to yourself on this day. Then do the same with a bad day. See if there are any noticeable differences between the two?

Often when things are going well we are saying positive things to ourselves and when things are not so good we make our selves feel even worse by thinking negatively. If we ask ourselves negative questions such as "why does this always happen to me?" or "why wasn't I good enough?" then our mind, like a computer, will race off to find the answer making ourselves feel even worse!!!! So next time something isn't going so well try asking yourself a more powerful question like "how can I make myself feel better?" "What can I do to resolve this situation?" and so on.

It is also a good idea to be careful when choosing the words we say to others about ourselves, as they will then start to see us through them. A classic example of this is when we get a compliment, instead of accepting it we often instantly feel the need to say something like "oh my whole outfit cost a fiver" or "really, I haven't washed my hair in 5 days it stinks!". Do they really need to know that?! Or someone compliments you on a presentation you just gave and you come back with "oh I really didn't feel like I knew what I was talking about, I am amazed anyone was listening!" what impact do you think putting yourself down like that may have?

Finally the words you say to other people also have a powerful effect, as they will make their own decisions (based on past experience and beliefs) of what they mean, and if you are not careful it can be negative. In the heat of an argument words that are said can easily stay in the mind long after it is resolved.

Over the next week or so pay attention to the words you use when speaking to others and what you say to yourself. Are they creating the positive effects and results you would like in your life or are they working against you?

Are you living your life powerfully?

2010-09-22T00:38:00.000-07:00

I have finally found a few minutes spare to sit down to write this, the past couple of weeks have been crazy; I have been asked to dress 9 people for a launch of a new luxury product (top secret so can't blab I'm afraid!) so I've book looking for some super stylish outfits for all of them. Ted Baker have suprised me this season they really have some great pieces for Autumn/Winter. High Street favourites though this season are Reiss, Whistles and French Connection.

I just spent the first 4 days of London Fashion Week doing a styling event at Canary Wharf shopping centre, you can see my little area in the picture! There was a team of 4 of us giving out free advice on trends, colour and dressing for your body shape. It was a real success, people were loving it. Hopefully they will plan more events like that again soon. I have to say I was really impressed with the shopping centre there, they have lots of great shops. A fantastic place to go if you need to get your self kitted out in work wear.

Last week I started a series of seminars on "Living Life Powerfully" so I thought I would share a a few thoughts from that to get you thinking.....

How much of your behaviour is predictable? I have written before about how most of our days and actions are about 98% habit. It's wise to think of what you could do differently in any areas/situations you are not to happy in as if we continue to do the same things we are likely to experience the same results.

How much of your life are you living at the effect of, as opposed to being the cause of your life? Where in your life are you living in accordance to circumstance rather than really making what you want happen?

Very often in our live we know what we need to do, but sometimes we just don't get on and do it!!! We read all these books and go on courses, that all give great advice but then do we actually do it?

I'm just going to leave you with those thoughts for now......if there is something you are putting off, would like to change or achieve, perhaps now might be the time to try something different and go for it?

xxxxx

Put it Out There!!

2010-09-05T23:43:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic Bank Holiday Weekend? For me it is always my most fun one as the dance festival South West Four is in Clapham and then of course the infamous Nottinghill Carnival! The pic on the left is from The Good Times bus where DJ Norman Jay spins lots of funky tunes to dance to, it's by far the most popular place to be at Carnival!

Some amazing things have been happening to me since I last wrote, one being around my trip to India in December. Since booking the flight I have recieved enough new business to pay for the whole trip and more! I have found a lovely place to stay that will pick me up when I arrive, on my own, at 4am in the morning (something I was a little worried about) and the ashram I have discovered starts a yoga course on New Years Day! Which means I will be seeing in the New Year having a totally new, and possibly life changing, experience - I can't wait!

This is a perfect example of how when you put something out there the universe (or what ever you like to call it) seems to align and throw things in your way to make it happen. I am sure quite a few of you will have heard of The Secret or The Law of Attraction which is all about putting out there what you want and trusting you will recieve it, getting what you focus on etc. Well my experience over the last few years of getting what I want has all been down to putting something in place to start change, whether it has been paying for a personal development course, putting money down for a flight, signing up for a half marathon and so on. As soon as you commit to something that's it, you do everything to make it happen and you also notice more ways to do it too. Whether you believe it or not that the universe will throw things in your way that is up to you but definately something shifts.

We actually have a part in our mind called a reticular activating system, which means that when something is is brought into our consiousness we start to notice it more. For example a couple of years ago I wanted to buy a new car, I love lime green Beetles but couldn't afford one so I was test driving Peugeot 205s....until one day I saw a 206 in lime green!!! Had never seen one before. Next thing I knew they were all I saw on the roads! It's the same when you set goals, when you set a goal and read it everyday you will start noticing ways to make it happen. So whether the universe is playing a part or not, you have it in you to make these things happen anyway!!

The trick for me, as I said above, is to commit to something and that is usually putting some amount of money down to mean I can't back out. If it is something that doesn't involve money though or you don't have any money then just sharing with people close to you what you want to do can also have the same effect as you won't want to let them down by not following through with it. You could even ask them to make sure you do it! The more people you tell the harder it will be for you not to go for it.

So is there something you have been putting off or perhaps just something you would really love to achieve in the future?

Is there anything that you could put in place to make sure it happens?

Life really is to short to put things off any more!!

xxxx

Change is a good thing!

2010-08-27T02:49:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I stayed at my family home for the very last time as my parents have finally sold it after 26 years of living there. I loved it, I have so many memories there, it's my home and also my sanctuary to escape from the craziness of London! So it was very emotional leaving on Monday. Amazingly though I did have a bit of a timely reminder when going for a run on Monday morning which did help a lot.....

I always say I love change and when things happen out of the blue I find it exciting rather than daunting, how ever I realised when going for my run on Monday morning how I do still resist it a bit in a few areas of my life. When setting out for my run I went the usual route through the woods and up to the cliff top, I was about to turn right as I usually do to run along the cliff top when I remembered my cousin always runs the other way, along a sea wall to the next town along. So I decided to give that a go, for a change. Oh my god it was one of most amazing runs I think I have ever had!!! The sea wall goes on for about 4 miles, on your right is the sea and The Isle of Wight, on your left a wild life sanctuary with many different types of birds. It was stunning.

The previous evening I had been researching places to go to in January for a little adventure. I was deciding between Vietnam and Thailand or India. Vietnam was winning because I just wanted to get back to Thailand which I know and LOVE!

So whilst I was running along the sea wall I was reminded that just going a different way than usual can produce very unexpected and pleasing results. This led me to decide to go to India rather than Thailand again as it is the unknown and who knows what amazing new experiences I will have there. Finally I came to the conclusion that my parents moving house will bring in new energy and there will be something good that will come out of the change. Already I am feeling like where I am living is my home rather than my parents house, which is probably about time at the age of 35, ha ha!

Change is often and naturally daunting and can rock the boat. When we resist change it eats us up and drives us mad with negative emotions. The thing to do when you are faced with change is to see how it would feel if you were to accept it and look for the benefits that will come out of it. Often this wont be apparent at first but just trust there will be something.

An extreme example is when someone dies, when my friend died earlier this year I was broken hearted and still am but I accept he has gone and actually I have made some fantastic new friends from it. We all miss him and him dying will never be a good thing, it is a tragedy, but I do have some new loving people in my life as a result. It's his birthday today so Happy Birthday Clint, we all love and miss you!!

Is there anything you are resisting at the moment? Or perhaps just regular habits you never think of breaking. Mixing it up sometimes and doing something different really can have some surprising results!

Have a great Bank Holiday Weekend!

Louise xx

What Would You Like to Learn?

2010-08-16T04:50:00.000-07:00

Last week I offically became a trainer! Well I have been coaching and training within a company part time for the past 6 months but I actually went on a course last week to become a qualified trainer. I love learning new skills, there is nothing better for me than feeling like I am growing and developing myself.

Growth is one of "The Six Human Needs", it is actually a higher need along with contribution. Before we care too much about getting those needs met we must first get an even balance of certainty and variety, love/connection and significance. These six needs are what makes us feel happy with our lives, often when we are not one of the needs are missing. It's useful if there is one missing to identify that, then from there you can work out how to get it met.

Growth doesn't have to be about going back to school or reading lots of books if that is not your thing. The other day I saw an article about a Graffiti School, you just go for a day or two to learn the art of spray paint. I would LOVE that!!! Or how about learning to Dive? Sail? Cook Thai food? ............or even fly!!!

If you are feeling a bit stuck one sure thing to lift your spirits will be to take up something new, something you have never done before. Is there anything you have always wanted to try but just haven't got round to it? Perhaps now is the time!

Have Fun!

xxx

Be proud of who you are!

2010-08-09T01:38:00.000-07:00

I am sorry this post is a little late in coming, have had a busy few weeks full of image consultations and coaching. I was at Bluewater for a couple of days carrying out mini style consulations for the shoppers there. We were getting people to think about what their natural style preference is. We all have a style we ourselves and good in, but it's so easy to get swayed and think we "should" be dressing in a different way. The thing is when we dress in a style that just doesn't feel like us we then feel uncomfortable and our confidence can be knocked. So it's helpful to get clear about what your style is and then embrace that.

On Saturday I went down to Brighton Pride, it's such an amazing event the whole town comes out for it, straight or gay, to celebrate people just being themselves. Whilst watching the parade a mens chorus choir went past on a float singing Gloria Gaynor "I am what I am!" it was so camp and fun but also just so true for all of us, it actually bought a tear to my eye! Check out some of the lyrics:

I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes the aces sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

I am I am I am good
I am I am I am strong
I am I am I am worthy
I am I am I belong

I am

I am I am I am useful
I am I am I am true
I am I am somebody
I am as good as you

Yes I am

Good old Gloria!!!! It's so easy to get caught up in a world of comparison and self deprecation but ultimately you are unique. There is not one person out there like you, everyone is different and as long as we are trying to be like someone else we can only be as good as them. How about being proud of who you are instead and acknowleding all your great individual qualities?

Be proud!

xx

Acknowledge the people in your life

2010-07-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

Last week I told you about the little challenge I had set myself to do a random act of kindness every day, it took a bit of extra thought but the effect of doing something unexpected for various people was amazing. I think my favourites were giving a sandwich to a homeless person and giving something I own that love to someone who loves it more! Something unexpected that came out of this for me was noticing more than usual how kind my friends are, how people do random acts of kindness all the time but sometime we just don't stop to acknowledge them.

It's my birthday this week and 2 of my friends (one being my business partner) put a little party on for me yesterday, they had arrange for the most perfect cake for me, as you can see in this photo! They had liased with my flat mate to work out all my favourite songs to play and had put together photos over the last 10 years of us all together, to play in the background on the TV. It was so touching and such a lovely kind considerate thing to do!

I think it can very easy to take the people you have in your life for granted and get so used to them being the way they are that you stop to realise how lucky you are to have them in your life. A really lovely thing to do is to think about who you have and love in your life, then tell them what they mean to you. It may sound a little cheesy but acknowledging the important people in your life can fill you with such a feeling of love and connection it can be amazing.

This is something I am going to focus on over the next few weeks, making sure people in my life realise how much I love and appreciate them. Is there any body you could do this with too?

Lots of love

xxx

What's Your Challenge?

2010-07-09T01:12:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the programme Challenge Anneka, where Anneka Rice used to have to run around in a day creating something to help a charity? I always love to set myself mini challeges, perhaps not running around in a lycra all in one but something to mix it up and change the dynamics a bit.

A year or so ago I decided for the following two week's I would do everything differently; from what I cooked, to the route I walked to what I did in my free time. It was amazing, hard mind work constantly having to think of different things to do next but fantastic for thinking creatively and having new experiences. My latest challenge, which I have mentioned here before, is to take a photo every day for the next 12 months. It's been lots of fun so far and a great way of observing life more every day.

The great thing about challenge's like these are they make you more consious to every day life. So often we go through life in a bit of a daze, about 90% of what we do is habit and that means our brain isn't fully working. It's like we are on auto pilot. So when you set yourself a little challenge you actually have to think more and get creative. By creating new experiences you are also achieve interesting insights and the variety can make you feel energised. It's also a very satisfying feeling when you have achieved them, which boosts how you feel about yourself.

So.......what could your Challenge Anneka be?

What is something fun you could do for the next week to mix up your daily routine?

Mine is to do a random act of kindness every day.....I'll report back next week!

Have fun!

Louise x

I am leaving you with a last photo of one of my favourite elephants, they have all been auctioned off now, making over 1 million to support the endagered Asian Elepants.

Accept Yourself

2010-06-27T23:10:00.000-07:00

I have just spent the last 3 days on a pop up stand in Westfield Shopping centre giving free mini style consultations to passers by there. We discussed what peoples natural style personalities are and I got people to think about what they like about themselves before giving them some style tips.

So often we look in the mirror and just focus on what we don't like, this then becomes exaggerated and then that is all we see. We just don't see an overall image of ourselves.

One major thing that stood out from seeing all these women over the past few days is that hardly anyone is happy with themselves, people find it hard to pick out things they like about their figures....even the most gorgeous slim tall people that a lot of us would love to look like! Quite a few times I had to tell people what they were seeing was just not true and to make the most of their long legs, curvy waists and full busts!

We spend so much of our time comparing ourselves to other people, when they are doing just the same!!!! It's such a waste of negative energy and time!! It's far kinder to yourself just to focus on accepting yourself for the gorgeous person that you are and make the most of your best bits.

The next time you look in a mirror my challenge for you is to look at what you like and think about how you can show that off.....and just look yourself in the eye and say "I accept myself". It can be a really powerful thing.

xxx

Being thankful

2010-06-21T00:36:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken last weekend in the New Forest, it's really so beautiful down there. There are wild ponies wandering around everywhere!

Over the past few weeks I have been writing my gratitude journal again, something that I used to do a while ago but slipped out of the habit. Every day I write down 4 great things that happened that day and say thanks for them. It sounds simple but it's such a powerful tool for living in the moment and appreciating what you have rather than focusing on what you haven't.

Also saying thank you to people who have made an impact on you, have done something for you that you really appreciate but have not expressed it enough. Just as it's lovely to be thanked for something it feels good to do it too.

So this is my simple message for you this week; what are you grateful for in your life?.....and who can you thank?

When you start looking for things to be grateful for.....you start to find even more!!

xxxx

What is on your wish list?

2010-06-11T01:15:00.000-07:00

I am writing this from the house where I grew up in the lovely village of Milford-on Sea, which over looks the Isle of Wight as seen in this picture. It really is beautiful down here, a great place to get away to relax.

Have you ever had the experience where something gets bought into your consciousness then you see or hear it repeatedly? As if the universe is trying to tell you something or put something in your way. This is actually one of the reasons why it is good to have goals because once you have put it in your mind that you want to achieve something then you start to notice ways to make it happen, like the universe is guiding you towards it.

Well this has been happening to me over the past few days. At the beginning of the week I started to feel that stuck kind of feeling I get when I don't have a big goal to work towards. I have recently achieved my goals from the past few months and after a little bit of down time I am now ready to plan something new so I was just saying this to my flat mate on Monday evening. Just a few minutes later I went online and my stars for that day were saying "you are probably thinking about setting some goals right now"!!! The next day I was chatting to a good friend who was having a clear our of old things she doesn't use and she asked me if I would like something that has actually been on my wish list to treat myself to for a while now. I told her this and she said "imagine if you put other things on your wish list" which was a big reminder to me of the law of attraction and setting goals.

Fast forward to Wednesday night and there I was watching the new people walk down the stairs into Big Brother (I know I know I shouldn't admit to that) and Ifee was saying to herself "The Secret works! it actually works!" For those who have not heard of the Secret, it is all about the Law of Attraction and if you focus on what you want, trust and believe it will come to you, it usually does. She must have used the Law of Attraction to help her get on the show. Then finally last night I was given something else on my wish list......one of the Elephants from the Elephant Parade that I have been madly taking photos of for the past few weeks.

Now I know that so far the things that have come to me this week have been mostly material but like my good friend reminded me......what else could be on my wish list. The Law of Attraction is far more powerful when you focus on how you would to feel on a daily basis for example happiness, love, connection, peacefulness and so on. Rather than waiting to feel these feelings how about it you were to act like you felt them now? Have you noticed when you are loving to people you feel more love back? When you feel peace inside generally your world around you is calmer. When you smile and are happy people then to reciprocate, a smile and laughter is infectious after all!

For myself this week has been a signal from the universe to assess what I want next in my life, a reminder of what feelings I want to be experiencing on a daily basis and that's it's time to start feeling them now!

What would be on your wish list?

What would you love to experience daily? ......and how could you be that already?

Why wait?

xxx

Elephants and creativity!

2010-05-27T00:29:00.001-07:00

For those of you in London you may have spotted the amazing Elephant Parade as you've been walking around. It's the worlds largest outdoor exhibition dedicated to the conservation of the Asian elephant......there are 250 all around the streets of London!
Personally I am loving it, you'll be walking along and then one will pop up to make you smile. They are all decorated differently by artists and celebrities, my favourite so far is Matthew Williamson's glitter one in Selfridges (see pic below).

As I have been loving them so much I have decided to take photos of all 250 of them!! So far I have got about 70 and doing this project has opened up so much more to me than just the elephants, it's taken me to different parts of London each day, triggered my creativity and it's been exciting finding each new one so it's made me feel happy every day. From my previous post a couple of weeks ago you may have read that my friend died in April and I also ended my relationship so that was a hard month but honestly this, practising meditation every day and getting out and about taking photos has totally bought me back to feeling myself again.

It's part of life that we have our down times when things are not going so well, when we feel sad, let down, fed up and so on. It is possible though to pull yourself out of it just by putting a little effort it. Thinking about the things you love to do or would love to do, creating your own little project like my elephant one and planning it in will make all the difference. It may take a bit of a push to get yourself to do it at first but then just see what happens, what ever does it will probably be better than staring at the ceiling at home feeling sorry for your self!

From the elephant photos I have also started a project of taking a photo everyday to illustrate my life, I can already see this is going to be something amazing to look back on in years to come to remember all the things I got up to!

What do you love to do? What excites you? What could be something over the next few months that would be a bit of a challenge but above all a lot of FUN!!!!

ENJOY!

The power of meditation

2010-05-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

I spent a lovely day yesterday at the Bramah Kumaris Global Day Retreat centre near Oxford. They are an international organisation that offer free mediation course to help everyone experience and learn the benefits you can gain from it.

How often to do just stop? How often do you have time in silence on your own? Our lives are so busy, we have so many thoughts flying round our minds every second that it is often rare for us not to think at all. After lunch yesterday I took a walk around the buildings grounds and discovered a wood filled with bluebells, it was so beautiful and there was not anyone around. I thought how often do I allow myself to be in silence surrounded by nature, not very often but it felt so good.

The Bramah Kumaris teach the type of meditation that can be done anywhere. They don't say to sit down for long periods of time if that is not possible for you, they simply just say to spend a minute here and there through out the day calming your mind, checking in with your self on how you are feeling and bringing yourself back to the present moment.

It's so easy in life to start to think who you are is determined by your possessions, your career, your friends, your family, your finances and so on. We become attached to all these material things, our status, who we have in our lives and fear loosing them. The truth is we are not all these external things, who we are is inside us and we have eveything we need. Meditating helps us to connect with this infinate source of energy, love, peace, courage and stillness.

If you'd like to give it a go here is a great site with some minute mediations you can listen to to help focus on something positive and calming: http://www.just-a-minute.org/

Get out of that grump!!!

2010-05-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

Do you know anyone that no matter how lively and upbeat you are feeling when ever you see them you get brought right down? The kind of person that complains ALL the time, nothing is ever good enough and everything, even the post man or bus driver, is out to get them.

Do you really enjoy being in their company? Would you go out of your way to have a night out with them? Probably not!

Or perhaps you are that grumpy person? Reading this and probably moaning about what I am writing.....I am out to get you after all :-)

Well there is something you can do when you get in a mood, it's natural to have an off day or even week but don't allow yourself to wallow for too long and give these 5 easy steps a go to get you out of that mood:

Following are my 5 steps to feeling more positive:

1) Accept it! Whatever it is you are resisting just see how you feel if you were to accept it. If you find that hard just pretend you accept it to see what happens! Ask yourself if I was just to accept this how would I feel?

2) Ask yourself what is good in your life right now? What is there to be grateful for? When you are thinking about this there is often no room in your mind to think negatively.

3) Ask yourself what could you do today to make it a great day? What could you do for yourself to make yourself feel better?

4) Move your body! You physical state has an impact on how you feel too, so jump around, put some music on and dance, go for a run, anything to get your endorphins going. Anthony Robbins recommends skipping down the road, you can’t help but smile, especially when people are smiling at you!

5) Plan something fun, get something in your diary that would excite you. Or perhaps set a goal to achieve something over the next few months that you can get started on today. Working towards making changes in your life can have a huge impact on how you feel about things.

Remember what is going on in your mind right now is what you put there earlier on!

xxx

Powerful Bathing!!!

2010-04-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

It’s around this time of year when the days are starting to get warmer that we start to want to bear more flesh! We start exercising a bit more, exfoliating and moisturizing and perhaps fake tanning. We want our body to look and feel great in all those lovely summer clothes that have been tucked away for the past 6 months. Over the winter our skin often dries out more and skin problems like eczema can occur. There is a wonderful natural product that can help with all of this, and much more, Himalayan Crystal Salt.

Himalayan salt contains all the minerals and trace elements of which our bodies are made, 84 essential mineral in fact! It includes magnesium, potassium, bromide and calcium which are absorbed into your skin during a 15-30 minute bathe.

Himalayan bath salt is known to alleviate severe cases of dry skin disorders. A Himalayan salt bath will stimulate circulation, hydrate the skin, increase moisture retention, promote cellular regeneration, detoxify the skin and help heal dry, scaling, irritated skin. Salt water bathing reduces inflammation of the muscles and joints, relaxes muscles and relieves pain and soreness and will improve psoriasis.

It also promotes the most amazing night’s sleep! You feel so relaxed after a bath in the salt and sleep comes really easily. I know it might sound like I am selling this but I just wanted to share it with you as I have been trying it out this week and have been loving it! I've had a crazy few weeks, I wasn't sleeping well, my skin was dry, my back really tense and the salt baths this week have helped all of this! I think I might be addicted :-) .......I am going to try out a salt lamp next which apparently helps asthma and allergies., amongst all sorts of other things.

You can buy it online, you just type it into Google and various sites will come up.

Have a fantastic bank holiday weekend!

xx

A very sad time

2010-04-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

My amazing friend Clint Walters passed away on Sunday 4th April, aged just 31 yrs old. Clint had contracted HIV when he was just 17, there wasn’t much support in the UK for this illness back then so Clint travelled to San Francisco work and study with the University of California Aids Health project. The support he discovered there gave him positive hope and helped him come to terms with his illness. Instead of letting it defeat him and wallow in self pity he took the decision to devote his whole life to helping young people back in UK who were dealing with HIV and AIDS. On returning to London he set up his charity Health Initiatives, he was the support for young people all over the country who had just been diagnosed, were fearful of actually going for a test or maybe had a loved one with the disease.

He inspired me so much how he always put other people first, I would be in awe as he would take people to get tested for HIV and share their relief when the results were negative, even though he had it himself. He lived on the breadline in a council flat and all his energy was teaching young people the importance of safe sex and creating the awareness that the quicker you get tested for HIV the more chance you have. I never even knew before that if you have unsafe sex with someone who might have put you at risk you can take PEP treatment with in 48 hours and it will stop the virus. His dream was to open a 1 hour testing clinics at weekends, sadly it hasn't happened yet. I know for sure he influenced me to practice safe sex and I am sure thousands of others who heard him speak about it. He made himself the face of HIV, he was not afraid to be on TV and in the press to raise awareness of the disease and that it can happen to anyone.

Clint didn't die from HIV, it was a total shock and his friends and family are all still reeling from it. The most amazing thing is how we have all come together and are helping each other, He was friends with such loving, sharing and open people it is truly touching, and so supportive, how we are all going through this together. There is a real feeling of love and connection right now and I know Clint is right here with us all being part of it.

One huge learning I am taking from this sadness is not to put off contacting someone you think about. I had been meaning to to call Clint all week before he died, I was going to see if we could meet up over Easter. I got the call to say he had passed away as I was sat at the end of his road in a pub talking about him and again thinking I must call him. Now I regret so much that I just didn't make that call. We just don't know what is going to happen in life and if there is anyone that you keep thinking "oh I must meet up with them/ must call to see how they are" just don't put it off any longer.

xxxx

Be kind to your self....

2010-03-19T04:39:00.001-07:00

If you didn't have to do anything this weekend what would you do?

If we are not careful so much of our time is taken up with doing things we feel we "should", to prove something to our selves or others. What if you didn't have to prove anything? What would you do?

I challenge you to take at least 2 hours this weekend to do what ever you want.......it might even be just doing nothing. How wonderful would that feel?

Enjoy!!!

x

What could be holding you back from the relationship you dream of?

2010-03-10T06:49:00.000-08:00

Last night was my final session of The Other Singles Group, I have decided to take a break to focus on promoting my monthly networking group More to Life. I enjoyed running the singles coaching group helping people to explore what could be holding them back from finding a relationship and whilst doing it noticed a few very common things that do. I thought I would share these with you encase anyone reading this might be able to relate:

1)Beliefs - as we go through our lives from our childhood we start to form beliefs about ourselves through events that happen. Often the negative ones we choose to form and not based on fact but what we make each event that happens mean about us. These beliefs then form expectations of what will happen in the future and influence our behaviour in different situations. So for example if you have the belief that you are not good enough, when meeting women/men you will just expect they won't like you so you won't ever let them know you are interested, perhaps just avoiding them altogether. It does not have to be this way and it is possible to change your beliefs.

2) The Past - if you are still in love with someone else or are carrying around an upset from your past how can you expect to fully allow someone new into your life? Worrying about your past recreating itself in new relationships will also prevent you from being fully self expressed and yourself in them. Spend sometime accepting the past, forgiving where you need you and letting go.....it's the only way to move forward.

3) Ambivalence - there are 2 common types of singles, 1 that really wants to be in a relationship and is doing everything to find one (and in this case it's just perseverance and patience that is required) and 1 who says they want to be in a relationship but actually is valuing something else higher in their life right now. For example someone might say that want a relationship but be valuing their work more, giving more of their energy to their career than getting out there on the dating scene. Or perhaps it might be valuing not allowing themselves to be hurt higher than taking a risk and meeting someone. This is ambivalence and it can be a hidden barrier to finding a partner. If you feel you are ambivalent, ask yourself how much longer are you going to keep on prioritising the other "stuff" before getting yourself out there?

4) Relationship patterns - you often hear people questioning why they always end up in the same old situation, why does it always happen to them, why are "all men/women like this" etc Often when we look through our past relationships that haven't worked out there is some kind of pattern to be found. Instead of blaming the other people involved how about looking at what you could have been putting out there, behaving like, believing to create these situations? After all you are the common denominator! I remember I used to attract men with problems all the time, I'd end up wanting to help make it all better for them.....but in the long run I got nothing in return for my efforts! I worked out I was creating this because by helping someone I felt they would like me even more and I would get some kind of certainty from them (I never did). It wasn't until I worked this out that i could then stop it, now when I meet a man I don't try to fix their problems and if I meet someone who seems to have a lot I avoid them at all costs! Just by working out your pattern can help you break it.

5) Self confidence - this is an obvious one and it goes back to the first point on what you believe about your self. Change your beliefs and you can change how you feel about yourself and how you behave. Self confidence doesn't have to be the loudest person in the room, it's just knowing deep down that which ever way something works out you will be able to deal with it. Contact me to find out how coaching can help you achieve this.

6) Desperation - often when some one has been single for a while they start to become needy or desperate to find one. This is usually because they feel like something is missing in their life that a relationship will fill. The thing is neediness or desperation is the biggest turn off for most people and even though you think you might be acting all cool the slightest thing like sending that extra text or trying to secure a date well in advance to know you will still be seeing them then is a signal. This is not an attractive quality so it is crucial to take this urgency to find a relationship out of your mind. This can be done by focusing on everything you do have in your life and making the necessary changes you need to be living a life you love whether in a relationship or not.

Please do feel free to email me with any relationship questions, i'd love to be able to help.

xx

What makes you leap out of bed in the morning?

2010-03-02T23:02:00.000-08:00

I have been loving the sunshine so far this week, it really feels like Springtime is finally here and every one seems more energised. It's amazing what a difference lighter mornings and evenings make as well.

I am on a training mission now to complete a 16 mile run on 11th April, currently I am really not sure how I am going to do it as hurting my back and holiday have meant I am very behind! It's great though to have a goal bigger than what you can imagine it pushes you further than you would normally go.

On 16th March I am running my monthly More to Life Group in Clapham. Each month we get together and share our goals with each other, we say how we are getting on with them and support each other in achieving them. Last month we also shared what has inspired us and this month we will be discussing what makes us leap out of bed in the morning, what really gets us going! So I thought I would put this question to you?

What do you love to do?

What will make you spring out of bed in the morning feeling excited to get going?

What gives you natural energy and makes you smile?

Now ask yourself......how often do you do these things? If it is not daily or weekly what can you do to start introducing them into your life right now.....life it too short not to be doing things you love!

Here are a few of my things I love to do.....

Coach people
Read inspirational books, such as Paulo Coelho
Sit in the sunshine
Do Bikram yoga
Running around the Thames past Houses of Parliment and Tower Bridge
Go to the pub for a good catch up with friends
Play with my cat
Take clients shopping and see them get excited about their new clothes!
Go to the beach
Cook
Dance
Do something inpulsively
Put daffodils around the house

......and the list goes on and on!

I challenge you to think of one you love to do and do it today!

Have fun!

xxx

If you would like to find out more about my More to Life group please see details on our Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=152934543281&ref=ts

Have Faith

2010-02-25T00:27:00.000-08:00

Well I am finally fully back into life in the UK again, even picked up some virus that's going around to really make me feel at home - nice!!

Now my head is more together after the jet lag I'd love to share with you the main thing that I got from my holiday that I am going to really focus on this year.......and that is having faith that everything will all be ok. Last year was a tough year for many of us, usually I am very trusting that if something is meant to be it will be and the universe will provide me with what I need but last year I definately started to question this a little bit. With out realising it I started becoming almost desparate to do anything to make what I want happen, even doing things that I didn't particulary enjoy. The whole point of setting up my business was to do a job that I love that didn't feel like work and up until last year it was exactly that. However as money got tight I made myself busier and busier doing anything and everything I could to try and create more income. This lead to me actually feeling stressed and worn out, something that I hadn't felt in years.

I was even pushing myself with my fitness goals even when I wasn't feeling that great and then injuring myself or making myself ill.

As I went away I knew something needed to change this year and my holiday was the place to decide what it was. I went away armed with a pad and pen planning to write all my new goals down. However when I got there I simply relaxed, I had fun, I did what ever I felt like doing, I took care of myself by eating delicious fresh food, having massages, watching sunsets, swimming in the sea and getting lots of sleep. Suddenly all these big plans for this year didn't seem that important. After all the busy-ness of last year it slowly dawned on me that perhaps this year I just need to simplify my life for a bit, let myself recover, get my energy back and focus on what is really important.......my friends, my family and doing what I really love to do, not what I think I "should". People might think as a coach I should know all of this already, and I do know it but it's one thing to know it and another to actually realise it yourself when you have gone off track! That is why it's so important to have a coach as it's easier for an outsider to see what might not be working for you.

My main focus now is to trust that it will all be ok, have faith that the universe/ god/ what ever you want to call it will put things in my path to help me make what I want happen. It seems like the simplest thing to do but actually it's the hardest, just to believe if something is right for you it will happen. Don't get me wrong I am not going to just sit around doing nothing but I am just going to do what I love and what is good for me this year, when you are behaving in this way the right things to generally start to come your way......it's just taking that leap of faith.

So far since all this realisation of just trusting it will all be ok..... I have met the most gorgeous man and I have had a career move which I am loving, so I think that is a pretty good start to the year!

Is there any area in your life that you are struggling with? Any area that is causing you stress, worry and frustration?

How would it be if you had faith that it will work out just the way it's meant to be? What would you do differently if you really believed that?

Take some time to really consider this.

Take care

xxx

Back from the land of the Thai's!

2010-02-17T06:22:00.000-08:00

The sun is shining today! It actually feels a bit like spring!

I hope you are all having a good start to the year. I just got back from my holiday to Cambodia and Thailand a few days ago, it really was amazing from start to finish. Cambodia is fascinating and beautiful, the temples around Angkor Wat were absolutely breathtaking. I learnt fully about the awful atrocities the people went through when Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge took over the country, it was extremely upsetting to think what those poor people went through.

Thailand was as amazing as it always it, I love it there and have been many times.....no where quite compares to there for me. I went to a tiny island called Koh Maak which was paradise, no one else on the beach, sea like a crystal green swimming pool....bliss! Then I went down to Koh Tao which is just the perfect holiday place with beautiful beaches, amazing snorkelling, chilled bars in the evening, great restaurants, lovely people.....you couldn't ask for anything better.

Anyway i'll stop rambling on about it and get on with recommending you some great books I read when I was away:

The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho - This book really inspired me to dance more this year! One of the themes is talking about how dance really connects you with your soul when you are lost in the music. The book is all about passion, being free, love, joy and sacrifice. It was a good reminder that love just is, you can't control another person and once 2 people love each other that are connected what ever happens.

Tuesday's with Morrie by Mitch Albom - This is a beautifully simple book to read about life and death. Morrie was Mitch's teacher and mentor when he was at college, Mitch reconnects with him when he hears Morrie is dying of a disease that slowly works it's way up his body. Morrie decided to make his death his last lesson to his family, students and friends. Mitch visits him every Tuesday records Morrie speaking about all the questions he has to ask him about life such as love, money, regrets, work, family and so on. The main learnings I had from this book is that when it comes down to it love it what is important. You can have all the money, possessions and success in the world but surrounding yourself with people you love is where you will find fulfilment. Also by helping others in what ever way you can. If you were to ask yourself each day "am I ready to die today" it would ensure you were doing the things that are really important to you and making sure people know you love them. His take on regrets is that you need to learn to forgive yourself rather than beating yourself up for what you did or didn't do. It's a lovely book and I highly recommend everyone reads it!

First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung. This is the true story of Loung Ung and her family during the Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia from 1975-1979. She was 5 when her family had to leave Phnom Penh, over the four years her parents were killed and her sister died. Her next book is called Lucky Child which is the story after she managed to escape Cambodia and move to US, it is her story and also the story of her sister who was left there. The stories are heart breaking but if you want to learn more about the history of Cambodia during this time they are well worth reading.

My next book to read is Eat Pray Love......i'll let you know how I get on!

Have a great week

xx

Happy New Year!

2010-01-13T03:05:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

I am sorry for writing this slightly late, I've been ill since Christmas time. On the mend now and thoroughly looking forward to my holiday.....I leave on Saturday for a month, hooray! I haven't had a long break like this for 2 years and the fact I am going is proof that goal setting, planning and determination can make anything happen.

Back in September my flat mate left in the early hours for Thailand, after sitting with her packing the day before and hearing all her exciting plans I actually got that feeling in my stomach I get when I am going away. Butterflies of excitement. I had put going away to the back of my mind last year due to needing to be careful with money but as soon as I heard Polly leave I made the decision that I too would be flying to Thailand in the next few months. Once I made the decision and started visualising being there my determination to make it happen kicked in. I asked myself how could I find the money, how could I make it happen? ......I stuck to the plan I made and 3 1/2 months later I am flying to Bangkok on Saturday. As it worked out my uncle is going to be in Cambodia when I am out there so I am going to meet him in Siem Reap next week to explore the temples of Ankor Watt, something I have always wanted to do.

The best thing is when you set your mind to achieving something the universe really does start working to help you......over the past month I have made much more money than I ever expected which will ensure I have all I need for my trip.

So you really can make anything you want happen....here are my top tips of making your New Years goals happen:

1) Make a decision on what YOU really want to make happen. Not what you think you "should" do but something that you really want. Anytime you do something you feel you "should" do you are living through some one elses values and your heart won't 100% be in it. Pick something you would love, energy naturally flows to us when we are doing things we love.

2) Put a deadline on it, by when you want to achieve it, write it down and share it with other people. By telling others they will effectively hold you to account in making it happen.

3) Plan how you are going to get it, break it down into manageable chunks and then stick to your plan. Desire alone does to get you your goal ACTION does. Do one thing everyday to move you towards your goal.

4) Enjoy the process......often we say things like "when I achieve X I will be happy", how about if you were happy now and used that feeling to get what you want? Don't make your life a struggle, make a conscious decision to feel what you want to feel right NOW!

I will be back in February and will have a new Create Confidence ecourse to tell you all about!

Enjoy the beginning of the new year ahead!

xxx

Happy Christmas!!

2009-12-23T04:17:00.000-08:00

Well this is my last post of 2009! I have just spent this morning reviewing my year, what worked and what didn't. It's really useful to take some time doing this to help plan for the new year ahead, what you'd like to carry on doing, what you'd like to stop and what you'd like to achieve.

Following are a few questions to help you assess 2009:

What specific results did you achieve in 2009?

Is there anything left that you'd like to achieve before then end of 2009? What do you need to do to make this happen?

How have you grown and what have you learnt in the past year?

Is there any unfinished business to complete?

What worked for you in 2009?

What didn't work?

Are there any habits you would like to change or develop to support you in 2010?

What would you like to continue doing in 2010?

What would you like to stop doing in 2010?

What would you like to achieve in 2010?

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas what ever you are doing and I will be back in the New Year. 2010 is going to be a fantastic year for all of us!

Lots of love

Louise x

What is your intention for today?

2009-12-16T05:21:00.000-08:00

I am practising something I haven't done in a while this week which is to set my intention each morning. My intention is how I am going to be that day, what am I going to focus on and what do I want to achieve.

Today my intention is to do things slowly. At this time of the year our lives generally step up a gear, we are working to get everything done before Christmas, all the presents bought and we are out in the evenings catching up with friends. Our bodies are natually feeling tired at this time of year due to the days being shorter so whilst we are craving rest our busy lives are demanding us to fit even more in!

So I have made the decision to listen to what my body wants to do and to take things slowly. It's a lovely feeling......also a bit strange as I am used to doing everything 100 miles an hour.

Tomorrow I will pick a different intention when I wake up.

What might your intention be for the rest of today? What would really help make today fantastic?

Have a lovely day and enjoy the snow!!

xxx

Feeling Christmassey!!!

2009-12-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

Well I am still going Bikram Yoga crazy, honestly if you have ever thought of trying it just go for it! I am feeling energised but really calm at the same time. I just seem to be floating through my days at the moment even though I am really busy on the run up to Christmas day and night. I am more focused on everything I am doing so being super productive, it's fab!

So Christmas is nearly here! Nights are getting booked up with "Christmas drinks" with friends and my train is all booked to go home to see my parents for a few days. It's very easy to feel a bit overwhelmed at this time of year with everything that needs to get done beforehand. Here are my top tips to get through this festive season!

1) Prioritise.......it isn't possible to see everyone or do everything. Look at what you need to do and pick the things you really would love to do or the things that absolutely have to get done before 25th or the world will fall apart! (is it ever really that important?) We spend a lot of time on the run up to Christmas seeing people and doing things we feel we "should do", make a decision to just to the things that are really important to you.

2) Plan......if you have lots of Christmas shopping to do set aside some time in your diary to do it, whether it's online or braving a busy high street. Online shopping is so great these days it's easy to do it all sat there with mulled wine and a mince pie!

2) Be present.......no don't be A present, BE present! When you are catching up with friends and family don't allow your mind to wander off thinking about the next things you have to do. Enjoy this special time catching up and really connecting with people important to you.

3) Be loving.....Christmas is a great opportunity to let people know you love and care about them, I don't just mean by spending lots of money on presents but just by letting them know. It can be really special if you choose to really open up and tell people how you feel about them. One year I wrote letters to people special to me and gave them to them on Christmas day, it was really amazing.

4) Have sometime for you......make sure you have at least one day all to yourself to do what ever you want to do. It's a good time to assess the year that has just gone and to have a think about what you want to achieve next year. Allow yourself on this day just to do what ever you want!

5) Exercise......I know it might be harder at Christmas time and with all the food and drink inside you it might be the last thing on your mind but even going for a couple of long walks will really help that awful heavy feeling of over indulgence.

6) Have FUN!.......if any time is a good time it is NOW! Enjoy it!

Ho Ho Ho!

xxx

A new discovery.....Bikram Yoga!

2009-12-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

I've just started doing Bikram Yoga, that's the practise that is done in a 40 degrees hot studio. You literally sweat buckets......the smell in there is not pleasant!!! Aside from the smell it is totally amazing. When you start they advise you just too get through the class and not leave the room, your first challenge is just to adjust to the heat. I have been 5 times in the past 6 days and what I have learnt about it so far is that it is about so much more than just the exercise. The most obvious thing is that it strengthens your will power and determination as you really have to put aside any negative thoughts of it being too hot and rise above this to get through the class. This is something I have also learnt through long distance running, you can't start thinking negatively a few miles in when you have 13 to complete! Will power is a fabulous muscle to develop as you can use it for anything you want to achieve in your life.

The other key thing I love about Bikram is that to get through the class you just have to focus on being. Every time after doing a posture they bring you back to your centre, you just stand or lie there and take a couple of breaths and just surrender to the moment. If you feel too hot or a bit dizzy just by calming yourself down by slow breaths and letting go the moment of discomfort passes. A few times I have just suddenly not felt hot at all, like I was just stood in a regular room!

For me so far Bikram is all about being present, calming your mind and just letting go. These skills are so helpful for our everyday lives, any time you are feeling any kind of upset just accept the feeling, just be with it and choose to let it go. Often just accepting the feeling and just being with it will take away it's energy and it won't control you any more. Resisting a feeling or trying to hide it will just make it linger and potentially come out in different ways like anger, resentment, lethargy and ill health.

So for now just practise on being, just being in the moment right now and breathing slowly. Where ever you are at right now this second is perfect and exactly how it is supposed to be.

Take care

xx

Change - love or hate it?

2009-11-25T05:45:00.000-08:00

Change.....it's an emotional word, some people love it and other people will avoid it at all costs. It's largely due to feeling in control, if you love to be in control and change throws you off balance from that then you are likely to feel uncomfortable when it happens. Personally I have a strange dynamic liking to feel in control of my life but also loving the feeling of not knowing what is going to happen next, so change for me is exciting. I get bored easily and my solution to that is to constantly make changes or try new things. This can be great but it can also lead to me having too much to focus on and never actually completing anything!

I met a lovely lady earlier and we discovered we were both the same in this regard, we love change and starting new projects but at the same time do like some familiarity. We were discussing how sometimes when you are not feeling so good about your life you try to gain control of it again by making changes but sometimes you make the wrong ones. For example you might end a relationship when actually you need to change your career. This then leaves you in a new situation but still not feeling all that great about things! The key is to change the things that are really going to have an impact on you and your life for the good, a quick fix isn't necessarily going to have the same impact.

Ensuring you make the correct changes, if at all, means you have to be really clear about what isn't working in your life and what you really want.

Of course sometimes we are not the ones making the changes, they are thrust upon us much to our dismay and we are left in a whirlwind of how to deal with them. The key here to managing unexpected or unwanted change is to first of all accept what happened has happened. The more you try to resist it saying "it shouldn't be this way" the more it eats away at you. Once you have accepted it then you are in a stronger place to be able to say "OK what am I going to do about this?" "How can I get control of this situation?" "what has to happen here for me to feel better?" etc

When anything doesn't go the way we wanted or expected it to a great question to ask your self it "what can I learn from this?" or "what good has come from this?". In every seemingly negative situation there is always something good that comes out of it, even if you don't see it immediately!

I challenge you think this of 1 change you would like to make for the year ahead? What one thing would really have a huge impact in your life?

Personally I am working towards creating a passive income so I can work less hours and travel more, wooo hooo!

Take care

xx

My 5 top tips to......doing things that scare you!!

2009-11-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

Over the past few years since discovering personal development and becoming a coach I have forced myself into all sorts of situations that have scared the living hell out of me!! With my old fear of never being good enough I used to back away from all sorts of scenarios such as telling people how I really felt, asking people to help me, public speaking and there were things that I would never have allowed to enter my mind before let alone try them. Since then though I have had confronting conversations with people (which I would previously have avoided), I have ran day seminars, I have been on TV, I've been live on the radio, I have run a club night and got my favourite DJ's and acts to play for free, I've ran a 1/2 marathon.......the list goes on. I have learnt that the more you do things that scare you the more your confidence grows in yourself.

So from my experience over the past few years here are my 5 top tips for doing things that scare you!

1) Just do it, the more you think about it the worse it will become in your mind. Put something in place as soon as you can so you can't back out! For example tell someone you want to speak to them, book a venue for a talk or agree to something before allowing yourself to talk yourself out of it.

2) Repeat to yourself "how ever it turns out I will be able to deal with it". Just that knowledge that what ever happens you will be ok really gives you an inner strength.

3) Take the focus away from you. Think how you can help who ever it is you are speaking too. If it is something slightly different like a sky dive, how will it help the charity you are raising money for.

4) Breathe. Someone told me once that fear is just excitement with out breathing!! Take slow breaths in and out and feel how it calms you down.

5) Have fun. Don't take anything too seriously, what will be will be. When you are too attached to something turning out a certain way you are at risk of getting too emotional around it. Approach situations being unattached to the actual outcome, it gives you a great sense of freedom and playfulness around it.

One big thing I have learnt as well is after doing something scary you feel amazing!!!

So what have you been putting off? I challenge you to put something in place to make it happen by the end of the week!

Have FUN!

xxx

What really excites you?

2009-11-11T07:28:00.000-08:00

I booked a holiday recently.......it will be my first proper long one in 2 years when I go, I am soooooooooooooooo over excited!!! I am off to explore Cambodia for 2 weeks and then Thailand for 10 days to collapse on a beach. Right up until September I had not even allowed a trip like that to enter my brain as I just didn't think I would find the money, then one day I just made a decision I had to make it happen! The well known phrase "if it's to be it's up to me" rang true! So I set the date and planned how I was going to create enough money to be able to do it. 2 months later it's all booked, well the flights are.....I don't like to book my accomodation as I love the adventure of not knowing where I am going to sleep each night.

Booking the holiday reminded me of how important travel is to me, it's that feeling of freedom I love which is one of my most highest values. It excites me more than anything else. That desire to feel freedom and excitement is what has motivated me to make it happen. This is exactly what you need when you set goals in your life. You need to feel inspired by them and the "why" you want them need to be so great you will do anything to make them happen.

When your goals are not aligned to your top values you can easily lose interest in them. Often people set goals around doing things they think they "should" do. Anytime you hear "should" is usually when you are living by someone elses values. For example, my Dad was an estate agent and it's in my familys values that it is good to own property. I have no real desire to at all, if I wont the lottery I would travel for the rest of my life. It would be very easy for me though to set a goal around owning a property because I felt like I "should". I would have had to motivation to get it though as it would not have interested me.

So.....

What excites you!
What feeling would you love to feel on a daily basis?

Make sure your goals will help you to achieve this!

xx

Busy bee!

2009-11-04T03:48:00.000-08:00

Hello!

I have been crazy busy recently organising all sorts of things and I thought would be good to give you a bit of an update on a few things encase you might be interested in any of them!

Women's inspirational networking

Firstly I am starting a women's networking group, with More to Life Than Shoes , from November (17th), it is NOT purely a business networking group but more of a chance to women to meet to get inspiration and support each other in achieving their goals. We will meet once a month, everyone will have a chance to share what they are working towards, how they are getting on and if anyone is feeling stuck there will be a group brainstorming session to help them. At the end of each session we will let each other know what actions we will take before the next month so we can really hold each other to accountant to do what we say we are going to do! In a nice friendly way of course! If you don't have any goals it will be a great chance to explore what you might like to do.

Female entrepreneur's day work shop

On 20th November I am running a day workshop alongside an executive coach and a health coach. The day is for women running businesses to get coaching around their business goals for 2010, their leadership skills, advice on staying healthy and full of energy and how to convey the right impression through what they were. It really is going to be a great day jam packed with topics that will really help push your business forward. If you are MD or CEO of a company that employs between 5- 249 people then you might be able to get funding to attend for free and we can help with this, so let me know if you are interested.

Singles Meet Ups

I am still running my monthly coaching group The Other Singles Group via meetup.com, we meet in Club Bar and Dining in Soho. It is a chance to meet other single people, share stories and learn from each other. I use proven coaching techniques to help uncover what you really want in a relationship & what's been holding you back from the relationship you really want. There is usually a good mix of men and women so it's a great chance to hear how the other side think!! The next one is 11th November and then we will be having Christmas drinks on 16th Dec.

DJ Lou G!

And lastly a bit of fun......I am starting my own radio show on Create Radio. It will be a request show and what I am asking for are people favourite dance songs, from any year. I'd like people to let me know why they love them so I can read it out when I play their song. If you have any favourite tunes that make you remember happy times please let me know!

So hopefully I might get to meet some of you at one of my events......and also get to hear what songs you love!

Take care

xxx

Your personal brand

2009-10-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am currently promoting and preparing to run a workshop in November alongside an executive coach and a health coach. The day is for female entrepreneurs to really give their business's a kick start. They will receive coaching around their business goals, leadership skills, their image and their health, after all you need to be fit and full of energy to run a successful business!

I am taking the image part of the day. Your image is all part of your brand when you run your own business, after all what you wear is 55% of what matters in first impression! Whether we like it or not people make judgements about us when meeting us for the first time in a matter of seconds, and this is largely based on how you look, carry your self and speak.

There are 6 key elements to having a fantastic personal style:

1) Dress to flatter your body proportions and shape. Dress to show off the bits you love and hide the parts you don't.

2) Wear the most flattering colours for your natural colouring; that is your hair, skin and eyes. Colour own can have a huge impact, wearing the correct colours can make you stand out in the crown, look vibrant, healthy and even younger!

3) Your style personality. It's so important to really convey the real you through what you wear, to tell the world something about who you are. If you are running your own business then dressing in alignment to what you do is also important. For example if you are a personal trainer then there is no point in turning up to a networking meeting wearing a suit!

4) Wearing appropriate clothes of the situation. A client of mine who works in a bank in the city mentioned to me she seen a girl in the lift at work wearing a bright pink sequin mini skirt. She said it looked like she had still been out since the night before but she was obviously working there as had her notepad to go to a meeting. Now that was just a client gossiping to me but think what this ladies boss thought, or clients if she had to meet any that day. The pink skirt I am sure was amazing and a real expression of who the girl is but was not in the right context in a formal city bank.

5) Accessories compliment an outfit, add the finishing touches and can update a look.

6) Grooming, sounds simple enough but just making a bit of effort to add a touch of make up and keep your hair in good condition really says to the world you care about yourself. If you look like you have just rushed out of bed with hair all over the place and no make up it can give the impression that you are not that good at managing your time and are perhaps stressed, or even that you don't really care about your self. If you are running a business you want to create the impression you are in control and that you take it seriously.

If you are female business owner and have 5 or more people on your pay roll you may be able to come to our workshop for free!!! We are holding an information night on Wednesday to find out more, so if you are interested please get in touch! louise@createyourself.co.uk.

Have a great week!

xxx

Make this weekend a great one!

2009-10-15T23:57:00.000-07:00

If you didn't have to do anything, prove anything or please anyone what would you do this weekend?

Extend this thought to your life, how much of it is spent doing things you think you "should" do?

When you feel you "should" do something you are living by someone else's values, something that is important to them that they prioritise. This does not mean that you have too. We all have our own set of values which means nothing is right or wrong, it is all just what we place as our order of importance.

Also it is common to want to please people or prove ourselves to someone, or even ourself, this can lead to us doing things that we actualy don't really want to do at all. When you are doing something you really don't want to it can lead to not being present in the moment, resentment, low self esteem and lack of energy.

So.....what would you really love to do this weekend? What would make you feel alive and smile from ear to ear? Make a list of 10 things you could do.......and pick one.

Make this weekend a fantastic one and enjoy it to the full!

xxx

Ooo I say!

2009-10-09T01:41:00.000-07:00

Last week I spoke about my findings from research on what makes a person attractive and I promised my next entry would be to report back what was said about flirting tips....... The responses I got to this question were not as varied. When I asked people what flirting approaches work for them the main reply was about making eye contact and mirroring body language. It was interesting to compare the amount of responses I got on what is attractive to how many flirting tips I was sent. It appears that everyone can quickly say why they fancy someone but it's trickier to tell how to make someone know you like them.

So what makes a good flirt? From my perspective it is someone who is happy in themselves and someone who is interested in you and wants to find out more. Eye contact held for that extra second, open body language and touch is a sure fire way of making someone feel relaxed and signals you are interested in them, as my research has proven. A good flirt will make you feel like you are the only one in the room. You don't need to do gimmiciky chat up lines or try to be someone you are not, just be yourself and ask lots of questions. Most people like to talk about themselves and asking someone about their life will naturally suggest you are interested in them.

If some likes you they will like you.......and if they don't be careful not to make that mean anything about you. It is human nature to make it mean that there is something wrong with us when someone we like rejects our advances. However it is not possible for us to like everyone.......the world would be a mass orgy if it was!!! Think back to the people you didn't like, I am sure there was nothing actually wrong with them they were just not what you were looking for or perhaps you weren't actually looking at the point in time.

There are people out there for everyone it's just a case of trial, error and patience in finding them.

As we discovered through last weeks research what makes someone attractive is actually being happy in themself and their life. So carry on each day doing something that makes you smile and keep working towards your dreams...... Mr or Mrs Right is right round the corner!

Have a great weekend

xx

What is attractive?

2009-10-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

I am run a monthly coaching group for single people on the hunt for a relationship, for the subject this month I have been asked to talk about what makes a person attractive........the million pound question! So I thought I would put this question out there to see what people think, following are a few of the responses:

Energy
Someone easy going, laid back, sincere, honest and intriguing at the same time, not so predictable.
Lookwise it varies really I know what I like when I see it!
Someone true to him/herself able to laugh at themselves
Someone that listens.
Pretty eyes
A good kisser
Chemistry is key and beauty in the eye of the beholder
Shows interest in me.
Self confidence and a sense of humour, and a great smile...
Someone warm and open and easy to talk to
Confidence, good smile and a bit of a swagger!
Good sense of humour
Integrity,
Honesty
Empathy
Intelligence
Sportiness.
Smell

Out of my research the top three most common things were self confidence, a great smile and chemistry.

People happy in their lives and feeling good about themselves with inner confidence become attractive to other people as they think "I want some of that!". You are probably less likely to look across the room, see someone sat there all glum, shoulders hunched starting into their drink and think I want to talk to that person. Unless of course you want to help them!

Attractiveness is really not all about how you actually look but it's what you do with yourself, how you carry yourself, how friendly and happy to appear to people, how you feel about yourself. Of course the clothes you wear, the make up you apply and what you do with your hair will all add to your attractiveness but this comes from accepting yourself and making the most of yourself for who you are rather than comparing yourself to others. Chemistry with someone is something you can't control, you either feel drawn to someone or you don't but there are things you can do to make yourself more attractive:

Get a life you love, follow your dreams, do things that make you happy
Do things that make you smile on a daily basis
Be open to meeting people, anywhere! A warm friendly smiley person will always seem more approachable
Write a list of 25 great things about yourself and remind yourself of these daily
Set yourself a challenge, something that scares you and go for it, this is a sure fire way to boost your self confidence.
Stand in front of a mirror, acknowedge what your best features are and dress to show them off. Wearing the correct colours also has a huge impact on how fantastic, youthful and healthy you look.

YOU ARE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! Get out there and embrace life to the full!

xxx

ps Next time I'll be talking about flirting tips leading on from part 2 of my survey!

My top 5 daily routines to lead an inspired life

2009-09-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

I was chatting to author, and friend, Melanie Charles yesterday; we were discussing how there are little daily practises you can do to help you live a peaceful and happy life. Have you ever found that you have read a great personal development book, attended a seminar or had a bit of coaching and then a few weeks/months down the line you have lost that buzz of inspiration? Perhaps you have backtracked a bit? There are certain things that if you integrate them into your daily routine you will stay inspired, feel uplifted and on track to achieving your dreams. Following are my top 5 that I have found to really work for me:

1) Gratitude. I have mentioned this one before, but feeling grateful on a daily basis really does have a huge impact on how you feel. It is impossible to feel bad in the same moment as feeling grateful. I got into this practise by keeping a gratitude diary and every day writing in it what I was grateful for. If I was upset about something I'd really make sure I took even more time looking what I was grateful in my life. After a while being grateful has just become second nature and I am constantly saying thank you through out each day for all sorts of little things.

2) Make each day a great day! When I get up in the morning I ask my self why is today going to be a great day, what can i do to make today fantastic, what can I do that's fun, what will make me smile? Planning this as soon as you get up is sure to get you in a good mood!

3) Keep focused. Each day I remind myself what my goals are, what I am working towards. This helps to keep me focused so that I don't miss out on any opportunities thrown my way that day. I check in with what I need to achieve that week and plan what I will do that day to move me towards my goals. Be aware of not thinking "When I achieve X then I will be happy", this is putting your life on hold, simply bring yourself back to the present, focus on feeling what you want to feel right now and enjoy the process of working towards your dreams.

4) Laughter It might sound simple but it's so important to laugh each day! What can you do that will make you smile? What can you do today that will make you throw you head back and laugh until your tummy hurts. Can't think of anything? Well do something silly like skipping down the street......honestly, it works you can't help but chuckle and you'll soon notice people laughing around you too! (admittedly at you being so silly but hey you have done them a favour and made them laugh too!)

5) Love Each day remind yourself of who you love and who loves you, who makes you smile, who is special to you, and what do you love about yourself.......what can you really acknowledge in yourself today? We are all amazing human beings with incredibly special unique qualities. Take some time to appreciate this in yourself and the people you care about.

There are are hundreds of daily things you could be doing. These are just 5 little things I have found that have really worked for me and I have easily been able to slip them into my daily routine.

Right........I'm off for a skip :o)

xxx

Make a stand for your life and those who share it with you!

2009-09-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is the last time I am going to mention it.....the TV show was finally on last night! Hoorah it's over and it was all ok! Nothing I couldn't cope with was said about me and even though they cut it so you just heard me saying "I want to get married" and "I want a man with a strong fit body"...........which made me cringe like I have never cringed before.....I am ok though and the feedback has been great. Anyway, that was the truth, I do want to get married one day and what girl doesn't want a man with a nice fit body, ha ha.

It's reminded today the importance of allowing yourself to be vunerable. It's so easy to build barriers up, not let people in and not show your true feelings but actually when you allow yourself to be vunerable you get the most amazing about of love and respect back.

When I first experienced personal development by doing a course at Landmark Education one of the many things I learnt is that you can not control other people, you can't make them behave how you would like them too but you can inspire them by your own actions. I used to be very reserved with my feelings and my experiences, I would keep them all to myself and feel no need to share them with others. However since taking that Landmark course I learnt that sharing yourself, even when most vunerable, and leading by example will inspire others to do the same. I realised that living a healthy life, making the most of my image, challenging myself, making what I want happen will in turn have an effect on the people in my life and hopefully will then lead them to follow what they really want in their lives too.

I did a seminar with Katrina Brunsden (aka Fat Girl Trim) this year and she was speaking about the very same thing. She was saying you can't tell people you care about in your life to look after themselves, eat well and do exercise but by doing just that yourself you might just ignite something in them to do the same, or what ever works for them.

When I finished my Landmark courses 3 years ago I made a stand to act lovingly and courageously at all times and since doing so I have got so much strength and love right back at me! People close have told me that I have inspired them to follow their dreams which has been amazing feedback to receive.

So......what stand do you take for yourself and others in your life? What could you do to really enrich your life and those around you?

Take that stand and go out there with love & courage!!

xx

A sure fire way to boost your self confidence.....

2009-09-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

It's a week until my debut TV appearance....eeek, what have I done?! I have really been aware these past couple of weeks of the power of TV.....nearly everyone I know as been spotting me on the adverts, even people I don't know such as the guard at Balham tube station! I have to admit I am slightly nervous now on how they are going to edit the show but am confident in knowing that I was just myself, 100% honest and proud that I put myself out there to such a huge extent where I could have been rejected on national TV.

One huge lesson I have learnt over the past few years is that one of the main ways to achieve total self confidence is to do things that scare you (like the TV show!). I am sure you have heard of the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers......it is so true!!

Self confidence isn't being the loudest person in the room it is knowing what ever happens you will be ok and will be able to deal with it.

Playing it safe and never moving out of your comfort zone to go for the things you really want will end up having a negative effect on your self esteem. The more you put things off, make justifications of why now is not a good time or why you couldn't possibly do that, the worse you will feel about yourself.

The trick is to start doing it in baby steps. Pick one small thing you have been putting off due to fear and do it......then pick something a little bigger. Before you know it you will be getting excited anytime something scares you because you know you will have a break through at the other side of it!!!

So what is one thing you could do this week that you have been putting off or not even contemplating because of fear??

I challenge you to have done it by midnight on Sunday!!!

Write and tell me how you got on......I'll look forward to hearing from you.

Enjoy!

xxx

Change your focus to achieve what you want!

2009-08-27T03:23:00.000-07:00

Are you stuck in something that is not working for you right now? A problem that you would like to solve....

Write the problem down like this:

I want X but Y

For example: I want to loose weight but I can't stop eating chocolate!

The thing that you want will be something that you feel it "should be" and the problem is "it shouldn't be". In life most of us focus on the "shouldn't be", instead of focusing on what we really want. We direct our attention to the problem itself, the reason why we can't have what we want, believing somehow doing that might actually get us what we want. It never does.

For example; "I want to loose weight but I can't stop eating chocolate" leads to focusing so much on not eating chocolate that you eat more of it! It would be more powerful to focus on being healthy, feeling slim and full of natural energy.

Focusing on the shouldn't be will never get you anywhere!

Instead really visualise what you want, put a deadline on it and imagine what will happen on that day when you have it. Put this in your diary.

Next work backwards in small steps making plans and notes of what has to be done on the run up to the deadline for you to be able to achieve it. Mark these milestones in your diary.

Remember the reasons we tell ourselves why we can't have what we want are just lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better!! We have the power to make what ever we want happen in our lives we just have to go out and do it!!

Have a fantastic Bank Holiday Weekend!

xx

Being present!

2009-08-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

It's another beautiful day and I am up early to make the most of it! With the weather in UK being so temperamental there is a tendancy for us all to drop everything and get out there when the sunshines. This has led me to think and want to write today aboout the importance of being present.

I have had a few conversations recently with my coaching clients where they have been worrying about what they have done in the past or what might happen in the future. This is totally human nature. The thing is what has happened has happened, you can not change it and worrying about the future is a wasted energy. The future is created in the present. What you do today will effect what happens to you tomorrow. People say "when I have done this or have that I will be happy"......how about being happy right now? Being in the state of what you want to be right now will actually help you to get what you want for the future. Plus what about if tomorrow never comes, what if you spend your whole life saying when I get this I will be satisfied, happy, confident, successful, ready to meet someone etc and then something awful happens to you? Why waste time waiting to feel something with you can feel it right now.

This is not to be confused with just living for the now and never going for your dreams, letting life pass you by. A powerful way of living is to set your goals, be clear about what you would to achieve in the future and then every day be in the moment working towards these dreams. Rather than worrying about if they will or won't happen, making sure you do something each day that moves you towards them; and then just enjoy the journey. Goals give you a purpose, they make sure you are moving in the direction you want to be but the key is not to be attached to the outcome of them ie exactly how they will turn out. You never know what will happen in the future, you might be working towards them and change your mind, something even better might come along, or you might learn something you never knew which changes the course of them.

My top tips to staying present:

1) Anytime you find yourself drifting off into past or future.....ask yourself "Is there anything wrong right this second?" There never is.

2) Ask yourself what you are grateful for in your life right now, this brings you back to the present moment and allows you to feel happy with what you have got,

3) Set your goals, plan them, month by month, week by week, day by day. Then enjoy each day working your plan.

4) Focus on feeling what you want to feel right now. For example if you say "when I get this I will be happy" - ask yourself what are you happy about right now? If it's successful, where are you successful right now? and so on.

5) Read the book "The Power of Now http://www.amazon.co.uk/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/0340733500/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1250662827&sr=8-1// It's fantastic.

Enjoy the sunshine!!!

xxx

Are you stuck in a clothing rut?!

2009-08-03T08:43:00.001-07:00

I was watching Gok Wan at the weekend and he was making over a lady who had about 57 white T Shirts!! He hung out her wardrobe on a clothing line along a beach front to really hit home what she actually has. She got rid of over 90% of it.

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut when buying clothes, we find something that suits us and then with all the choice there is in the shops these days it can be very easy to fall in the trap of just grabbing the same colours or styles to get it over and done with easily. Before you can click your old black court shoes you have been wearing the same clothes for years and your image isn't really matching up to who you are right now. Over time we change, we grow, we develop and who we were a few years ago is probably quite different to who we are now. I know when I put certain clothes on that I have not worn in years I don't feel quite myself in them.

So how to get out of this rut?!

First of all start by weeding through your wardrobe, take everything out and go through it systematically asking yourself is each item really "you" now, does it really suit you, is it still in good condition, is it still up to date? You might not follow fashion but there is a difference betweem high fashion and looking current.

By weeding through everything and getting rid of some old clothes you will create new energy in your wardrobe and some space for some new clothes that really reflect the real you.

Next stage is shopping! Time to break some habits, stop yourself from being drawn to colours and styles you would normally go for and experiment with something new. A way of doing this is to ask a friend to pick stuff for you......or book a personal shopping trip with me! Fresh eyes will really help stop you from your clothing rut.

A simple way to update clothes that you already have is to play around with accessories, new make up and altering items, for example turning a long skirt into a mini! Or a dress into a skirt! By going through your wardrobe you are likely to rediscover things you had forgotten you had - experiment wearing them in new combinations.

A hair cut is an obvious way to update your look, my lovely hairdresser is actually the hairdresser on the Gok Wan shows so if you fancy a total make over give him a call.....Jamie Stevens at Errol Douglas in Knightsbridge - he is fab!

Have some fun, break some habits and remember you are gorgeously amazing!

xxx

Taking risks.....

2009-07-29T07:26:00.001-07:00

I had a very surreal and intense experience last week; I took part in a reality TV show. I am not allowed to say to much about it but basically it was a dating show! I took part purely for the experience, the fun I thought it would be and I am single, so I thought why not?! It was a lot of fun, I made some great new friends and I do not regret doing it for a second but little did I know the emotional roller coaster I was putting myself through. I believe that in confronting situations there is always something to learn and I took one major learning from this experience that I wanted to share with you.

Through out my my life in the area of relationships I have always been careful to avoid any situation in which I might be rejected, if there has been any slight chance this might happen I have instantly gone off the person in question. It's like my mind just switches them off in my mind. As a result of this I have never really gone for anyone I really really liked, I have often dated people who have pursued me first, I basically have not taken any risks. It hit me last week how I take risks in all other areas of my life; I have set up my own business, I have travelled alone remote places such as Colombia, I am training for the marathon and so on. In the area of relationships I have not really taken any risks though and this is the area that has not been working so well!!!

So what a surprise last week to find myself confronted with the most horrific situation and biggest risk I felt I could possibly take - the chance that I might be rejected ON TV!!!!!!! What was I thinking of, ha ha?! Once I realised that this was why I was there I suddenly saw clearly that it's time for me to start taking risks with men and even if I was to get rejected on TV......I knew I would be fine and no other rejection would ever seem as bad!! It was like, if I can get through taking this risk and be ok it will never seem as bad in the future. After all I know this is true from when I have done other things that scared me in the past, the phrase, from Susan Jeffers, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" could not have rung more true. The more you do things that scare you the easier they become.

So did I get rejected I hear you ask......well I am not allowed to talk about the show so you will have to wait and see!!

Whether I did or not it doesn't really any make any difference, it was taking the risk, feeling the fear and doing it anyway that was the biggest achievement.

Is there anything that confronts you?

Anything that you would love to do but fear is holding you back?

How would your life be if you felt the fear and did it anyway?

What impact would it have on your life?

When are you going to really go for it and play the game of life 100%?

Don't let life pass you by, grab with with both hands and enjoy the ride!!!

xxxx

Take good care of yourself!

2009-07-17T00:26:00.000-07:00

I just received my daily news email from the Times declaring that the UK could face up to 65,000 swine flu fatalities - what a lovely thing to read first thing in the morning! I am not sure how aware the press are that they are probably helping to contribute to people getting ill, just as they will have been partly responsible for stirring people up into such a frenzy around "the recession" thus making it even worse! Panic stories in the press have an impact on our thoughts and therefore our behaviour which can then lead us to actually making the stories we read even more of a reality...... let me explain.....

Do you work in an office? In the office I have worked in anytime someone gets ill, someone else catches it, then word gets round the office there is a virus going round and then before you know it half the staff have got it. It doesn't even have to be in an office, as soon as winter hits everyone start to expect that they will "catch the virus" that is going round and sure enough they will.

So consider the effect the press is having with Swine Flu? How many people who have little sniffles are panicking that they have got it now? How many people are actually looking for symptons that are not even there?

I learnt a huge lesson a couple of years ago, after I was behaving just like this. My childhood was spent a lot of the time in the sick room at school or at home, because of this I grew up believing I alway get ill, I don't have a strong immune system etc etc Anytime colds went around I got them. Then one day my coach at the time said to me - what are you focusing on?? I was focusing on getting ill and any symptoms I might have. That day I made a decision that I am healthy and full of energy! I repeated it to myself day after day and I even told my mother to stop asking me if I was ok (usual worrying mother behaviour!) all the time.

Since then I have not been ill, I have radically changed my diet to cut out the things that made me feel sluggish and were bad for me and I have been taking immunity boosting supplements such as Chlorella and Spirulina. Plus I have really got into running, as you might already know from my other blogs. It really has been amazing!!!

What are your beliefs around health?

What are you focusing on?

Is your diet maximising the strength of your immune system?

What would be a new powerful belief that would really keep you healthy?

Take good care of yourself, listen to what your body needs, love yourself fully - even the bits you dislike.

Lots of love

xxx

What you resist persists.......!

2009-07-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

I had a valuable reminder this week of the power of acceptance. A few weeks ago I hurt my knee running, if you have been reading my blogs you may remember I am training for a half marathon in September (and for the full one next April) and had been getting really into it. I had managed to get up to just over 11 miles which I was really excited about. So you can imagine my frustration over the past few weeks having to take it easy and not run so much.

As usual with anything to do with my health I refused to accept I had injured myself, I have not wanted to rest and I have still been going on little runs but each time the pain came back. I was chatting to a fitness coach friend of mine and he pointed out to me that it's the frustration that is stopping my body from healing itself, he said "once the injured part is accepted the first stage to recovering is complete". It just totally brought the phrase "what you resist persists" straight back into my mind. I have always been aware of this, especially in terms of relationships, but never really linked it to my health as well.

It all totally makes sense, by resisting the injury I am making it more prolonged by ignoring it and carrying on. Once I accept I have hurt myself I can allow myself to rest and get some medical help.

It all sounds so simple?!!!

Is there anything you are resisting in your life?

Anything that "shouldn't be this way?"

What is there to accept here?

How will it be once you have accepted it? What will that mean?

Make a choice now to accept and let go!!

Do you accept yourself?

If no, how does this effect you?

How will it continue to effect you if you do nothing about it?

In the mirror everyday look at yourself and repeat "I accept myself" and say it like you mean it!!!!

You are AMAZING!!!

Have a fantastic weekend

xxx

Summer is here!

2009-07-01T03:36:00.001-07:00

Hoooraaayyyy!!! Isn't this weather AMAZING?! Wow!

It's funny isn't it how in UK people grumble at everything, nothing is ever perfect. When the weather is bad we moan and now in this glorious heatwave people complain it's too hot! Humans have the tendancy to always be waiting for something to happen, something different and THEN they will be happy. How about being happy right NOW!? Don't waste your life waiting to feel good, sit down and answer the following questions right now....

What are you thankful for in your life?

What makes you smile from ear to ear?

What makes you throw your head back and laugh out loud?

What excites you and gives you energy - plan to do that today!

What is one great thing that you can congratulate yourself for today?

Get up from your seat , spin around and jump up and down!

Personally I am going to make the most of this special treat of sunshine and am going to have a swim in the open air lido......bliss!

Have a brilliant day!

xx

What are you putting out there?

2009-06-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

Morning!

Summer finally feels like it's arrived, I am loving it! Last night was the 4th session of our monthly singles meet up group, if you have not heard on meetup.com I highly recommend checking it out for meeting new people. It't not a dating site, there are hundreds of groups for all types of interests. Our group on this is called The Other Singles Group; http://www.meetup.com/The-Other-Singles-Group/

Last night we were chatting about what signals you put out there when you are out and about. For example do you come across as friendly, approachable, stand off-ish, desperate etc It's all really to do with what beliefs you have that then effect your behaviours, for example if you believed you were not good enough then you might avoid eye contact with someone you really like or you might only allow members of the opposite sex to become friends with you to avoid the risk of being let down if it were any thing more. It all subconsious most of the time. If you are not careful though this can be the thing that holds you back as you are not really showing the world and those close to you the real you.

So we got people to think about situations where they were not really being themselves, where they were perhaps pretending something or putting on some kind of act. Then we asked what actually is the truth of the situation, what are you actually covering up?

Is there any situation at the moment where you are not being fully self expressed?

What is it that you are not saying/ covering up?

What impact does that have on you and other people?

How will it be if it carries on this way?

What would be a new way of being that would be different from how you are currently behaving? How would you act, what would you be saying?

When are you going to start?

Life is to short to hide behind barriers, challenge yourself to do something today that really expresses the real you!

Have fun!

x

What do you love to do?

2009-06-03T02:55:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I have not written since 11th May! Wow how time flies! I am very proud to report since I last wrote I still have not eaten any chocolate or cakes.....I can't quite believe it myself considering I was eating something sweet everyday. I just don't crave it at all now and my energy levels really are more constant now, I don't seem to have the highs and lows any more. I have also stopped having so much coffee which has really made a difference, I only had about 1 day before, if that, but even that has an effect.

Aside from the benefits of cutting back on sugars and caffeine it has really helped strengthen my will power and determination. Will power is like a muscle that needs to be worked on and the more you stay focused on what you really want in your life and stop giving into things that are not so great for you the easier it becomes to say no. Katrina the health coach I did the seminar with last month said to me how you are around food is often how you are in life and it really struck a cord with me, you see I have a thing about if I know I am not supposed to do something or it seems naughty I want to do it even more!!! Sometimes the things really are not so great for me!!! They might feel good at the time but in the grand scheme of things are not leading me towards my goals. So I really have found strengthening my will power around having sweet things every day has also had an impact in other areas.

Are there any areas where you feel you lack will power?

How will it be if you continue like this? What will be the impact?

How will it be if you start saying no and replace it with something much better for you?

When are you going to start this?

Finally.....I have just decided to do Walk For Life, a charity walk to raise money for people dealing with HIV and AIDS. The walk is on Sunday so I am on a mad rush to get a bit of sponsorship money, if you would like to sponsor me my page is:

http://www.walkforlife.co.uk/public_individual_sponsorship.php?ID=2446.

Many thanks!!

xx

Healthy and full of energy!!!

2009-05-11T02:17:00.000-07:00

Wow....had the most AMAZING day yesterday running the Spring into Summer seminar with Katrina Brunsden. Katrina spoke about how important it is to listen to your body, to focus on the good and what you want rather than what is wrong and we did some really great exercises around what we love. We all made a stand for what we want in the area of our health which will then guide our decisions on how we live our lives and what food we choose to put into our bodies. My stand is that I am healthy and full of energy.......any time I go for the chocolate (am a bit of an addict) I will ask myself is that really going to move we towards what I am a stand for?! I am also going to be even more firm with myself around not eating dairy as by cutting it out totally it will really help my allergies and asthma.

In the afternoon I spoke to the group about the importance of image, not only because of the impact it has when meeting someone for the first time and how people percieve you but also how really feeling like you and expressing yourself through what you wear will have a huge impact on your self confidence. When you go into a situation trying to be something else, that isn't really the authentic you it can have a real impact on how you feel, how you behave and your confidence levels. For example there have been times when I have been into the corporate world in the city and have put on a suit to "fit in" but it just does not feel like me, I am not a corporate person. In those situations I have not been myself and have had that awful out of place feeling! By being you, by showing your core values and personality through what you wear and how you behave you will automatically attract the kind of situations and people into your life who are perfect for you.

Take some time out and really assess .......are you really being you? Do you feel totally happy with your image? Are you actions in line with what you want out of life? If not.....what positive changes can you make to show the world how amazing you really are?

Have a great day!

xxxx

Seminar-tastic!!

2009-05-08T01:11:00.001-07:00

Wow it really has been a long time since I last wrote! I have been really busy planning two exciting seminars! The first is this weekend, Spring into Summer! with the fabulous health coach Katrina Brusden (aka Fat Girl Trim). We are planning a fun filled and fascinating day all about energising your health and your wardrobe. Katrina will be sharing some amazing dietry tips, shattering myths about health and giving advice on how to feel fantastic. I'll be talking about image and personal branding is and showing people how to look their best all of the time through what they wear.

The next project after this I am working on is a course for single people, the intention is that by the end of the course the attendees are fully ready for the relationship they dream of. We all have experiences from the past, ways of behaviour and thought patterns that can hold us back and this is especially true when looking for a relationship. So through a course of 4 evenings coach Carola Schwalm and myself will be working with the group using coaching techniques to get past all this so people feel powerful and happy in this area of their lives. The course starts on 25th June and runs for 4 consecutive Thursdays between 7 and 10pm. Please contact me for more details!

and finally............I have applied for the London Marathon next year - EEKKKK I have been looking for a challenge, for something I have no idea how on earth I will do it and I think this might just be it! Not only will I have to get my fitness levels up I will also have to raise at least £1.5K for charity. I'll keep you posted on if I get a place!

Have a fun Friday!!

xxx

The Happy List!!!

2009-04-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

The Independent has launched its list of people who make the world a happier place. What a fabulous idea!! With all the doom and gloom around this year with the recession I just think it's fantastic that a newspaper is actually focusing on something positive!

To find lots of happy positive people just click.....

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/the-iiosi-happy-list-2009--the-100-1671055.html

.....and you can nominate people as well so if I have made you feel happy I'd love a mention on the site please :o)

Leading on from this it got me thinking about all the people in my life who really lift my spirits and make me feel happy. It's so important to surround yourself with people like this and equally to return the positive energy with everyone you come into contact with, after all life tends to throw back at you what you put out into it. So how to feel positive in a instant.....

Ask yourself...

What are your grateful for in your life? In the moment of gratitude there is no room for upset.

What can you do to make today fantastic?

Who do you love and who loves you?

What can you do today to make a difference?

What can you acknowledge in yourself?

What are you happy about today?

These power questions from Athony Robbins always ensure I start the day in a fantastic mood with full of energy!!

Have a GREAT day!!!

xxxx

7 steps to achieving your goals!

2009-04-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

I am just back from the New Forest again, had the most gorgeous day on the beach yesterday. I went for my longest run yet along the beach path I must have done about 10 miles. Just before I went I watched a coaching tip from one of the other coaches on BNTC, Bryce Alford, who is a fitness trainer who does marathons and alsorts of crazy long distance runs. His tip was to tell yourself three times before you run that your breath is relaxing, then tell your body that you are relaxed 3 times; focus on areas that are tense, so for example I was saying "My shoulders are relaxed" and then finally tell yourself you are strong. I repeated my legs are strong as I knew that would help with long distance running! Anyway I am not sure if it was that, the sunshine or being on the most amazing coastal path but I just didn't want to stop running!

Along the run I got thinking about what the key things I have learnt in achieving goals and below is the list I complied....

1) Be creative, allow your mind to really dream what you would love to achieve if you had no barriers.

2) Write it down, set a deadline and write it like it's the day you have achieved it. Then read it everyday, this will help you notice more opportunities that come your way to make it happen.

3) Plan how you are going to achieve it, set monthly mini goals and weekly action steps. Plan your work and work your plan.

4) Commitment, what can you do to put down a commitment so you have to make your goal happen, for example putting down a deposit for a holiday/ course, having conversations with people who will hold you to account, booking something.....

5) Build a team; can anyone help you with your goal, is there anyone who could add value to it? Sometimes it's very easy to hold projects close to our hearts but another pair of eyes might actually be able to benefit the outcome and the person who is helping might get a huge benefit from doing it.

6) People love to help! Don't be afraid to ask for help, people love it.

7) Avoid being attached. If you are asking for help avoid being attached to the outcome of the conversation, be playful, have fun and trust what ever happens will be just right at that moment. It's also easy to become attached to achieving the goal in a certain way, learn to let go and just enjoy the process rather than clinging to something being a "certain way". This allows you to have fun with it and you will act differently than you would be being attached.

Goals help to build your self belief and your self confidence, plus they can be a lot of fun.......what could you set a goal for today?!

xxxx

Running-tastic!

2009-04-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

I did the 8.2 mile Kingston Breakfast Run on Sunday morning, which was the furthest I have ever ran - it felt amazing! The energy you get from running with hundreds of other people is incredible. Fuelled on from the success of that I have now signed up for my main fitness goal of the year......a half marathon! I have decided to do it in the New Forest after my gorgeous week there last week, it will make it even more exciting knowing I will be running around somewhere so beautiful.

Booking on to official run's really is the classic example of goal setting and demonstrates the importance of putting some kind of commitment in place to what you want to achieve. For example if you want to go travelling as soon as you have paid for the flight or booked your time off work you will do anything to make the rest happen. Or say you want to retrain to start a new career, putting the deposit down for the course will ensure you find the money to pay for the rest of it. Once you are booked into a long distance run you are forced in to training to ensure you can make it round with out collapsing! The beauty of booking on to run is that you are so consumed with actually running the distance that you almost forget about the good it is doing your body and the weight you loose.

What would you like to achieve this year and what could you do to commit to it to ensure you really make it happen? Sometimes it can be as simple as a conversation with someone.

Don't let time pass you by - start making what you want to happen NOW!

xx

Back in the city!

2009-04-04T10:07:00.001-07:00

Just got back to London after the most amazing week by the sea, I was so lucky with the weather it was like summer time! Wow what a week, I drove down with a friend from London and then my flat mate joined us the next day. We went for a long walk a long the beach spit (bit of beach that sticks out so there is sea either side) to Hurst Castle, then wandered into the village and went to the fishmongers, butchers and greengrocers to get our provisions for the weekend. It felt such a novelty not going to a big supermarket and buying really fresh food! Saturday was a night in Bournemouth which was an experience to say the least.....I think the highlight was coming back to mine and dancing round the lounge to the Dirty Dancing sound track! After running around the garden spotting stars, you forget how amazing the night sky is when you are in London!

My first round of guests left on the Monday and I started the big mission of clearing out my childhood belongings from my parents attic, did not realise what a huge task this would be mainly because everything held so many memories it was not easy to just dispose of everything. I have kept all my diaries from age 11 and all my letters! Found so many classic letter from friends and boys. Letter writing is so romantic, I wish men would write me letters now ha ha!

Speaking of boys I went to visit an old friend from when I was a teenager, he has just moved into a gorgeous house in Bournemouth. He cooked the most delicious meal.........was highly impressed by his cooking skills!!

Wednesday and Thursday were totally taken up with old school friends, my best friend who now lives in Dublin was over with her 7 month old baby so we had two catch up session with other friends who came over to visit. It was so much fun, lots of reminising and giggling....ending off with a sing a long to Bros!

I could not have wished for a better week and it has really made me realise how I miss the countryside and sea, I am going to make more of an effort to get out of London more...........it's so good for you!!!

xx

Count down to seaside

2009-03-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

I am off to the New Forest this weekend, my parents live down there and they are away on holiday so I am using their home as my country retreat! I can't wait, they live in a tiny village by the sea - it's gorgeous and just what I need. As much as I love London I crave the sea when I haven't seen it for a few weeks. It's so important to have down time when you are so busy in the speed of city life.

My running has stepped up a gear, I ran home to Balham from Oxford Circus the other day and loved every minute of it. It made it so easy running home - and knowing I could have my dinner when I got in ha ha. Only 11 days until the 8.5 mile Kingston Breakfast Run, it will be the furthest I have ran yet. Then we really have to get down to serious training for the 1/2 marathon, eek! I just can't imagine running that far at the moment.

I went to the first meeting of a group of fellow image consultants/personal stylists this morning which was great, it's so good to meet up with other people doing the same thing to bounce ideas off. We discussed what we call ourselves image consultants v stylists, many people feel image consultant sounds dated but then stylist can sound a bit like something only the rich would have or perhaps not as well trained. I kind of vary between the two depending on who I am speaking with! I guess it doesn't really matter as long as people understand you are in the business of making people look great all of the time and to feel confident with how they look. Would appreciate any thoughts on this though?

Mikey and I are thinking of what to do for a charity event this year, Create Yourself wants to do something fun to raise some money.........we want to think of something pretty off the wall and different so if you have any ideas please let me know - louise@createyourself.co.uk. I'd like to take on a real challenge doing this, something that scares me as you develop and get the most out of experiences like that.

The Other Singles Group....

2009-03-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

I have had another busy week! Had a gorgeous run around the river again, really loving the running...we are off to Richmond Park again tomorrow morning. Tuesday night was the start of our Singles coaching group, "The Other Singles Group", which was a success even though only 3 people turned up! We got people thinking about what they percieve as the obstacles stopping them from being in a relationship, then got them to swtich it a round and see if from a different perspective. We all create these stories in our minds why it is we are in the situtation we are in but often this is just some justification we have created for us to believe to explain why we haven't got what we want! Just the process of imagining another way of looking at it opens you up to opportunities.

We also got people dreaming again about what they really want from a relationship, often when you have been single for a while you stop allowing yourself to day dream about what you would love to have. It's important to day dream about what you really want as you start to feel those feelings you wish to experience, this then helps to attract more of that towards you.....if you are not sure what I mean look up The Law of Attraction/ The Secret.

If you would like to check out The Other Singles Groups please see:
http://www.meetup.com/The-Other-Singles-Group/

Wednesday night I took a personal shopping client to a Amanda Wakeley preview event where she brought gorgeous dress with a HUGE bargain! That's what we like!

Today I have been busy coaching my fabulous clients, one of them just achieved all of his goals! It's such a great feeling when that happens.

Looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend, apart from the running that is......but that helps me to justify the laziness afterwards ha ha!!

Enjoy the sunshine!

xxx

Letting go.....

2009-03-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

Wicked was amazing last night, I haven't seen a musical that good since Starlight Express!! I really recommend you go see it if you haven't already. It's so good to do something like that at the end of your day, it just totally emerse you in it so you really switch off.

I am really missing one of my best friends this week, I had to say to him a while ago that we shouldn't speak for a while and it's not easy. It's a long story but basically we met, went out, it didn't work out but we became best friends, gradually I fell in love with him and then one day he realised he was in love with me......then a few weeks later he had to move back to Colombia for good. We agreed it would be silly to try to carry on the relationship when there was no chance of him coming back here anytime soon and I am not going to live over there. Since meeting him 3 years ago he was always in my head, it's stopped me from meeting anyone else and it's sent me on a roller coaster of emotions. I realised a few months ago that he is not right for me romantically and it was time to let him go, it just took a while to pluck up the guts to do so. For me to do this I had to cut myself off from him. It was the hardest thing to do but I know it was right for me. I am letting go of anything more than friendship with him but I just miss him as my friend, we shared everything together and I hate not knowing what is going on in his life. I hope one day we will be back to being friends, but I am aware that it will take time to distangle ourselves from anything romantic.

Sometimes hard decisions like this have to be made for your own future happiness, as strange as that seems at the time!!! Although it hurts like hell it also feels very empowering to be taking control of your life and making a stand for what is best for you. If something isn't good for you and you are still holding on perhaps it's time to think about letting go? What would your future look like with out it?

And to finish on a positive note........ have a fabulous weekend!!!!!! I have filled the flat with daffodils and tulips...........I am fully embracing Spring! Hoorah!

Louise xxx

ps Oh and I managed to get tickets to see Michael Jackson in Feb 2010!! Wooo hooo!

Energy!!

2009-03-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

Wow I am having a totally energy filled week this week! I am now officially coaching two days a week in a lifestyle management company called tenUK, so I have had two days of back to back solid coaching. I get so much energy from each coaching session I do that to have so many sessions in a row has made me totally hyper!! I did a stunning run around the Thames on Monday night, over Tower Bridge, past the Eye, past House of Parliment, it was truly amazing. Yesterday I walked to Westminster from Balham, it felt so free-ing just to be walking, I started at 6.30am so the morning sunlight over the river when I crossed Vauxhall was awe inspiring.

Tuesday night I went to a "Hot Ladies" networking event in the Met Bar run by moretolifethanshoes.com for whom I write for as their confidence coach. I met some really inspiring ladies, one who has rowed across the Atlantic 2 times! The first time her boyfriend had to drop out so she ended up doing it with her mum who she hadn't spoken to for 10 years and had not rowed before!!! It took them 3 months! Just goes to show if you put your mind to it you can do anything.

I am preparing for my first singles event next Tuesday, in Bar Red Soho (7-9pm if you fancy it), the idea is for single people to meet other singles, share their stories and get some coaching to help over come anything that has been getting in their way meeting someone. Really looking forward to it!

Lastly I will leave you with a tip.....one thing I think that might just be adding to my energy this week - Spirulina. It's an algae from Africa and America and is a "super food", it has lots of protein and gives you lots of ENERGY!!! I take it every now and then, I started again last week and I am sure that is one of the reasons why I am so full of beans! You can buy the powder in Holland and Barrett.

Right got to run, off to do a personal shopping trip - can't wait!!

xx

Taking control of my money GRRRR!

2009-03-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

I have had such a productive weekend! I have cleaned the house, been for a 10K run, read my book, cooked healthy food for the week and wait for it..............I have taken control of my finances - hoorah!

How have I done this, I hear you ask? Well I have set up a standing order to put money each month into a savings account (yes yes I know I am 33 and have only just decided to do this), I have worked out my budget at the moment, from now on I am going to leave my cards at home and only pay by cash (eek)......and finally I have decided to walk into central London more because a) it will be amazing exercise and b) it will save on travel money. Just making a decision about these 3 things has totally made me feel more in control.

Are you worrying about money at the moment? What could you do to take control?

Right, the sun has come out and I think i am going to go for a little run, woo hoo!

xxx

Music and refuel....

2009-03-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

I went to the most amazing gig last night, Crazy P in the O2 Academy in Islington. They are such a great band, full of energy and funk!! Going to more gig's was one of my new things to do this year. I had got so caught up in doing the same things when socialising with friends, ie just going to pubs, bars, restaurants or clubs I made a decision that this year I would do things differently. I love music and smaller gigs are so fun as you actually get to see the perfomers rather than being at the back of a stadium watching a little speck jumping around. The energy is alive and you always leave on a high.

I am feeling exhausted this week after working hard by day and going out every night, my body is screaming for rest so I have made the decision to have a me weekend. I am going to go for run along the river Thames each day, cook fresh energy filled food and catch up on my sleep......I can't wait. I am going to be full of beans next week! It's so important to listen to your body and give it what it needs, it's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life and push yourself to keep going. Sometimes you just need to STOP and be peaceful. I have also booked a weekend down on the South coast near the New Forest, where my parents live, in a few weeks just to have some fresh air and relaxing time by the sea. Spending time in nature when you live in the middle of a city is so vital for our life force and energy levels.

So what do you need? What are you crying out for? When are you going to do it?

xxx

I need your votes!!!

2009-03-04T23:59:00.001-08:00

Voting has started for Britain's Next Top Coach, and last night I discovered that my page on the voting site is on the top ten of most pages visited, wooo hooooo! My very hidden competitive side is suddenly starting to emerge......usually I shun any type of competition but now suddenly I want to get to the next stage of this competition! To enter I had to submit a video explaining what I do and then I had to give a "tip", the public then vote on my clip if they feel it has taught them something or inspired them....... to view my video clip and vote please see:
http://createyourself.co.uk/modules/content/index.php?id=70

Any votes greatly appreciated!!

On a totally seperate note this week has been a bit of a tough one as I had to finish with the guy I was seeing, it really reminded me of how two people can have totally different perceptions of a situation. I hand on heart believed he would also feel like the relationship was not going anywhere but he really thought it was so it ended up being a shock to him. He wasn't someone who ever spoke about his feelings or showed any emotion so his expectation of where the relationship was heading was all created in his head and never discussed with me. This demonstrates the importance of being open with people, keeping the lines of communication open and being careful not to create assumptions in your mind with out vocalising them. I feel really awful that it was such a surprise to him and hate the fact I have upset someone. However I stand firm in my belief that we all deserve the relationship we dream of and it is important not to settle for anything less. He was a lovely guy, a total catch, I loved spending time with him and we had loads in common but there was just something missing for me. As the old phrase states, "it's not you it's me" there really wasn't anything wrong with him he just didn't fit into what I am looking for.

Anyway I feel a bit bad vocalising it in this blog but I just want to get the message to all those single people out there the importance of being honest and open about your feelings, being true to yourself about what you really want, acting with integrity and believing that there are people perfect for you out there and you don't have to comprimise your dreams.

Have a lovely day!!!! (and don't forget to vote :o) )

xxxx

What dream have you given up on?

2009-02-27T01:25:00.000-08:00

One of my best friends, Kevin, is leaving London for good this weekend, suddenly.....he decided 2 days ago! We were out having dinner last night with another friend, Charlotte, and got on to the subject of Australia. We all love it there and have all thought about moving there one day. Kevin is moving back home and considering going travelling in a year or so, something he hasn't done yet and has always wanted to. He is also thinking perhaps one day after travelling he will move to Sydney. Charlotte is also thinking about moving to Sydney, she has been for well over a year and has been putting of looking into what is possible, with it all being so undecided she has been finding it impossible to commit to her current partner or make a choice over her career. I spent a year in Australia 10 years ago and ever since have had moving there in the back of my mind, now I am running my business.....which I love.....the idea of it is on the back burner until I can make taking my business over there possible. For me an in between step is to get out of London and live in Brighton, as it's being by the sea that I want the most....whether abroad or in UK.

Our conversation got me thinking, how easy it is to give up on dreams by rationalizing, blaming and justifying your way out of them. Even as a coach I can see I have been putting my dreams of living by the sea on hold. So what am I going to do about this? I am going put a deadline on when I am going to have moved by it wont be immediate as I am really loving my life in London at the moment but it will be in the next few years. Once I have decided upon the date, I will be able to plan how I am going to achieve at and what I need to do to get there. I will write a clear goal of what I want when I get there and will make a big master list of everything that needs to be done to make it happen. Then I will set my self mini deadlines that I will make myself stick to by reminding myself of what I want it to happen.

You really do only have one life, and it could be taken away at any moment. Why wait? What dreams have you given up on and what could you do to make them happen?

Have a fantastic powerful day!

xxx

What can you do to make today a fantastic day?!

2009-02-26T00:30:00.000-08:00

There is a whole fresh day ahead of us, I love this time in the morning.....it's the time I sit down to plan my day ahead and to always make sure I will be doing something I really enjoy. Time flies by so quickly and it's so easy to get caught up with our "to do list" that it's important to plan the fun time too! It's also good to reward yourself after you have done something that you have been putting off, it gives you that extra incentive to get it done.

So today I am going to tackle PR, for some reason I procrastinate around sending off press releases, and the crazy thing press is the thing I want most for my business!! Perhaps that's why I put it off, because it's really important to me. The voting for Britain's Next Top Coach is literally going to happen any day now so I really need to get in the press some how to get the votes in!

I am meeting a potential new coaching client later, I love the initial sessions.....the investigation and discovery of what someone wants to achieve in their life.

.......and the fun? a 10k run listening to full on electro music to fill me with energy and a good catch up over some food with a friend tonight.

So what are you going to do to make today a great day??

x

It's going to be a great week!

2009-02-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

Morning!

Hope you all have great weekends. I took some time out for some much needed me time and rest, so I am feeling full of beans today! I was so exhausted all last week, I am really not sure why but one mistake I think I made was to over load on coffee. I was so tired I was having huge mugs of strong black coffee to keep me going but actually, after a caffeine free weekend I have realised it was just adding to my lack of vitality. The high was great but then I felt like a space cadet all week! So any way back to feeling energised now...

On a downside, one of my best friends is going through a really awful time at the moment. Her mother has just had to have an operation and has come out of it with a quite heavy lack of memory and confusedness. My friend is back at home caring for her while she recuperates and I am just feeling so sad and worried for her as it must be a very difficult thing to deal with, becoming the carer for your parent. I have never experienced anything like this, yet as I know at some stage in our lives the parent/child roles reverse, and it's hard to know how to help and show I care. All I can think of is just keping in communcation and making sure she knows I am here if she needs anything.

Anyway I do believe that something positive comes out of an illness or a situation, so somewhere at some stage something good will come out of this experience for her and her family. It is also a reminder of how important our health is and how cruicial it is to take care of ourselves.

Have a healthy happy week every one!

x

Busy week!

2009-02-20T05:40:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's Friday already, this week has flown by! Since last writing I had a lovely Valentines Day at Borough Market, it's such a great place to visit if you haven't been already. It's a food market by London Bridge station, the last time I was there I saw Gordan Ramsey russelling up a bit of smoked salmon, mmmm. They sell the most amazing huge chocolate brownies there!

I was actually there again on Wednesday evening but this time not for the food, I met a friend who works near there and we did a 10K run along the river. What an amazing feeling it was to be running past the London Eye, South Bank, Tower of London and Houses of Parliment at night with all the lights sparkling, I felt truely blessed to be living in London and able to do that when ever I like!

I carried out a style MOT yesterday which involves colour and style advice, wardrobe weeding and then personal shopping, basically a make over in a day. It was great to see all the Spring clothes in Selfridges, so bright and colourful.....I just can't wait to start being able to wear them!

This week has been so busy that I have cancelled all plans for this weekend and I just going to relax, have some me time to re-energize - I can't wait!

x

Russell Brand, health and Britian's Next Top Coach!

2009-02-13T02:28:00.000-08:00

Had a great night on Wednesday seeing Russell Brand, although he wasn't that funny, it was more to do with the company and the delicious Japanese restaurant we went to beforehand! Russell was all a bit egocentric for me, who really cares about the trouble he got into with Jonathan Ross and all the (insane) ladies he has slept with?! Why is it that some comedians just spend the whole time talking about themselves! I much prefer it when they laugh at life and everyday situations. I used to love Jasper Carrot for that......where is he now?!

I had a great meeting yesterday with Katrina Brunsden, aka Fat Girl Trim, who is a health coach. She is full of vitality as you can imagine being a yoga teacher and fully dedicated to eating food that is 100% good for us. It really does make a difference thinking about what you put inside your body, I discovered this last year when I went to see a nutritionist. I now eat to maintain my blood sugar levels, have cut out wheat and dairy (expect for treats) and try to eat raw food everyday, wether it's fruit or salad. Seed and alfalfa sprouts have become daily additions as they give you so much energy and are so good for you! It's made a hude difference to how I feel physically and mentally.

Katrina is going to be doing a podcast/radio interview for us and we will be planning a workshop together soon talking about health and dressing to make the most of your body and colouring. So all very exciting! I really have made 2 great connections this week with Claire from Meet at Last and now Katrina.

I have entered an online competition called Britians Next Top Coach!!! Supporters will be asked to vote on line after watching my video clip if you enjoyed it! I will post more about it when the site is all up and running, it's all very exciting and slightly scary but that's a good thing I think.

Over the past few weeks I have set myself a mission to break my habits, I read an article in Elle about how 90% of what we do is habit and when we are just living through habits our minds are not fully working/being creative. So everyday I do something different, if I go out for a drink or for food I order something I wouldn't normally, I have been doing things at different times and just generally mixing it up, it's been really fun. It has also prooved the article was true, you have to be much more creative when you have to think of different things to do all the time! I am going to be writing a full article about this for my site.

Happy Valentines every one!!!! Have a lovely weekend

xxx

Podcasts, dating and wellies!

2009-02-11T09:11:00.001-08:00

Wow, how time flies? It's Wednesday already and I am only just getting down to writing my second blog - so much for a daily occurence!

I have just got back from interviewing Claire from Meetatlast.com for our new Create Yourself Podcast. Meetatlast is a singles portal for anything you might want help with on the dating scene, events, coaching, advice, image help etc We had a good chat about the common problems people face being single these days, one of them being the huge amount of choice there is out there now! What with all these sites and events being organised it's never been a better time to put yourself out there. We also discussed the importance of loving your life and feeling happy with yourself, these are attractive qualities to someone else; much better than being depressed and desparate! I have written about this in my dating strategy report which you can down load on createrelationships.co.uk and you can hear the podcast via the site too in a month or so.

As for dating myself, well I went on a fab date last weekend to Jamie Olivers Italian in Kingston Upon Thames. Such a great place, really laid back and amazing food, as you would expect. Kingston is lovely too, I had never been there before. Off to see Russell Brand tonight, should be interesting......and hopefully quite funny!

I went to see the film He's Just Not That Into You last night, definately one for single girls. It's really funny, and very true for both men and women.....if you are really into someone you do make the effort no matter what! I always liken it to seeing the most amazing pair of shoes but having no money, you will find a way to get them some how!!!

I am getting a bit sick of this weather now so in order to turn it around and make the most of it I am considering buying some purple hunter wellies, they should make the rainy days a bit more fun...

Until the next time!

x

Welcome - This is my first entry!!!

2009-02-06T01:25:00.000-08:00

Morning Everyone!

I am very excited to my starting this blog. I already write a monthly one for my website, createyourself.co.uk but the thought of writing a daily one seems all the more fun. I have kept a diary for years, since I was about 11, so this is more of an up to date version! Also, perhaps a bit more mature than writing about who my latest crush is and if they have noticed me, ha ha! Saying that I am on the dating scene so it might not be too far removed!

So perhaps I should start of by saying a bit about me and how I come to be writing this Blog. Well I run a business aiming to help people feel confident about themselves and happy with their lives. It's all stemmed from what happened in my life in my mid twenties (I am 34 this year), I was really unhappy in my job at the time and I also felt stuck in a not so great relationship. These two things contributed to me loosing my self confidence. Luckily I had the drive to make changes where I wasn't happy so the first thing was to consider a new career, after a good year of exploration into what I would really love to do (the criteria was it had to be fun and not feel like work) I decided to train to become an image consultant. Mainly because I have always loved clothes and shopping, plus my mother had always taught me the importance of wearing the right colours to look your best. So off I went to train to become and image consultant, with a company called Aston Hayes in Holland Park. Soon afterwards I set up my business Create Image.

I found through showing people how to make the most of themselves visually, learning how to accept themselves and enhance their best bits that I loved the feeling of helping grow peoples self confidence. I was still a little stuck though in promoting my business as I had that common fear that I wasn't as good as every other image consultant out there. So whilst I knew I was good at what do I was comparing myself to others and this was holding me back. Suddenly as if an angel was sent to help I met a guy, in a club randomly, kissed and had no plans to see him again.....but I did, I bumped into him about 8 months later.....he was into a personal training course called Landmark Education and persuaded me to try their introductory course (under much restraint of "I dont need any help I am perfectly fine thank you very much"). Well thank god he came into my life again and told me to do this course!!! The series of 3 course I did with them totally opened my mind up to the whole world of personal development and totally blew my confidence issues out of the water!

From that the natural progression to me was to train to be a life coach and use everything I had learnt, along with my styling skills to help other people develop self confidence and belief in themselves. A good friend of mine, Michael Staddon, was also just completing training to be a personal fitness trainer and to me the 3 services all went hand in hand, so hey presto Create Yourself was formed. We have been running like this for 3 years, we are growing every week.....we have just launched createrelationships.co.uk and Create Radio is going to be online soon.

Aside from the business I like all things fun, after all as I claimed to my friends the other day "fun is one of my highest values"! A few of the things I find fun are......dancing the night away, going to concerts of big artists like Madonna and Kylie and then also going to small gigs of not so well known bands. I just booked tickets to see Crazy P in March, I really can't wait! I love being by water as I was brought up in a little village called Milford-On-Sea, so any time by the beach or river is always bliss. I love food, almost too much, so eating out, cooking or pottering around Borough Market is just heaven. To counteract the food obsession I like to do exercise (otherwise I would be 20 stone), in the past couple of years I have got into running, I did my first 10 k last November, I am booked to do an 8 mile run in April and plan to do a half marathon in October, so thanks to that I can carry on eating as much as I like!

I live with my good friend Polly and we have a little child, a rather comedy looking and acting cat called Fluff, bless her. I am actually allergic to cats so shouldn't really have one but little Fluff saw us one day over the fence and decided we were to be her owners, she forced herself into our lives, made us fall head over heels in love with her and so when we had to move the owner just told us to take her with us as she had obviously choosen us! (The owner was a cat lover but unfortunately one of her other moggies bullied Fluff hence why she was too scared to go into her original home).

So that's me. I plan to write honestly about what is going on in my life, report on what the business is up to (there are lots of exciting plans ahead) and also to share my confidence tips with you along the way.

Thanks for reading so far!

Louise x